In Love With Two

Hey hey hey!

I apologise for the current ever-changing state of the blog, trying to find a perfect new look for 2013 :) Please bear with me while I experiment with colour schemes, dynamics and so on until I think I love it again! Also like my Facebook Page! Anyways, moving swiftly on to today’s topic!

Can you be in love with two people at the same time? This is something that I’ve ALWAYS wondered about! Is it truly truly possible to be completely in love with two people simultaneously? For once this topic doesn’t even stem from my love for Rihanna and Chris Brown (who are apparently off again **boooooo**), it’s just something that always seems to pop up in conversations every now and then and I realised that I haven’t ever posted about it. I asked a couple of people about it and I got the usual answers about how there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone, which I completely agree with! But this post is not about the differences between those!

People have dedicated whole songs to trying to figure out how to live when in love with two people (Usher-What’s A Man To Do) and some people have even released silly videos on the interweb which caused one of their significant others to dump their ass! (Breezaay). There’s even my favourite series at the moment; Vampire Diaries, where Elena has been in love with both Stefan and Damon separately and together, they’ve both represented different things to her, Stefan always being the safer option while Damon is the daredevil bad boy that every girl secretly wishes they could tame. And while I’m unhappy that she’s straying from the plot in my mind and trying to please all the Delena fans, it makes me wonder why no one has ever questioned whether she ever truly loved Stefan but when it happens in real life, people always jump to the conclusion of “you obviously were never in love with the first one”.

The movie Scavengers put being in love with two people in a whole new perspective. Blake Lively’s character claims to be in love with two guys who happen to be best friends, not in a destructive way to them though, they also both love her. But anyways, the way she describes it is that one of them has a softer side, he ‘makes love’ to her, he’s more passionate, more in tune with his feelings, let’s call him Water. The other is hard, he’s not as in touch with his feelings I guess and he definitely doesn’t ‘make love’ to her, her body experiences a whole new set of feelings. Obviously he’s Fire.

Throughout the movie she doesn’t show preference to any of them, she’s equally distressed when either of them are in danger, she doesn’t sleep with one more frequently, in fact they often have coitus in threes. One might argue that she isn’t in love with either of them and that what she feels for them is just lust but for arguments sake, let’s say she is actually in love with them both. She feels no form of confusion at all, she’s not conflicted in her mind on who she should love more or spend the rest of her life with. She’s just a young girl, having a blast on an island with two hot best friends. I suppose it helps that they don’t get jealous and petty over her; she’s both of theirs equally. What I’m wondering is this; is it possible for two different people to bring out two completely different sides in you but in your mind neither side is better or wrong, you love both people and both sides and can’t imagine life with only the one. And no, you do not have split personality disorder! Is it possible to have Water and Fire coexist?

I think it is, if not how on earth did Adele set fire to the rain?! I’m not trying to say I can define what being in love with two people is but I do think it’s possible! I mean why the hell not?? Who is always creating all these plenty rules that we must abide by. Sure it’s probably confusing and leads to a lot of heartbreak and a lot of pain, but if you know you can’t handle it then don’t entertain the thoughts of having two people in your life at the same time, flee from temptation! Let your heart heal before inviting someone else to fill a gaping hole that was left by your last love. If you end up living happily ever after, that’s great, if not... Well, all’s fair in love and war.

Adios!

“With This Ring I Thee Promise”- The Promise Ring Paradigm

I would never forget the look on my mother’s face and the confusion in mine when she sent me to buy my brother a gift for his (female) school friend whose birthday it was. Jewellery was the suggested present so I popped into Accesorize, looked around found this gorgeous ring, and bought it. On presenting it to my mother she went into swift Yoruba, roughly translating to “Ahh, Morenike, don’t you know any better? A boy cannot give a girl a ring lest he plans on proposing to her with said ring.”

Now truth be told, this came as news to me. It’s just like any other piece of jewellery as long as both parties are sure that the relationship is platonic no? Well apparently not. Which brings me to the topic of this blogpost, the much coveted promise ring. In essence, a promise ring, as made famous by Tiffany Evan’s and Ciara, is more or less a pre-engagement ring where the guy promises not to lie, cheat, hurt and/or whatever other bad things guys sometimes do to girls. Sweet huh? I know right.

My only beef with promise rings is when the guy in question is almost certainly should not be dashing out rings to anyone **cough** Chris Brown & Karrueche **cough**

As far as I’m concerned he still has eyes for Rihanna, especially if she was truly the cause for him and Drake’s recent blow up, but let’s allow that discussion for now. Neanderthals who do it just because they think it’s ‘cool’ need not degrade the value of the promise ring. I like to think of it as one of the highest forms of flattery before marriage but there I go, romanticising everything, I really do need to get out of my head sometimes. Anwyays, as you were.

Bisous xx