Her Best Friends Guy

Happy new month everybody! Here's to praying that August brings you all the success and joy that you want for yourselves in life! Stay strong! Not to take away from the Staying Single series currently going on, but I still have to blog about 'normal' things sometimes!

Anyways, as some of you may know by now, I like to rant and recent conversation with friends begs that I with my infinite wisdom (self washing, le worst!) try and answer the question. “Is it ever okay to date your friends ex?” Unfortunately this question has so many variables that even as a seasoned engineer (another bout of self washing, forgive me, the sun is out or at least it was when I was writing this!) my head spins as I think about it. Let us now postulate that:

1. This question is specifically but not entirely directed to girls, our male counterparts have all sorts of other rules in their universe that I will not try and understand.

2. The friend is question is not an acquaintance; she’s not one of the girls you call when you want to go out. She’s one that you call when you’re feeling low.

3. Her and her ex dated ‘seriously and exclusively’ for 14 months.

4. They’ve been broken up for about 4 months now.

Okay, I think I’ve got it all covered now. You see, many variables.

Now as much as I am always pro Sparta and someday seek to be their Queen. (A Spartan is a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it), I think that there is a point where things can be taken too far and issues like this can cause irrevocable damage to a friendship.

Some people say that sometimes things just happen, you didn’t mean to fall in love with him. BULLSHIT! You know who he is, and you know all the ins and outs of his relationship with your friend, this was no mistake. You wanted him and now you have him, don’t try and hide behind silly stories of a flame lit in a period of darkness. You should have considered your friends feelings before you were having midnight conversations with him. Other times girls just have to be careful and know who their true friends are. Unfortunately not everyone out there that you consider a friend actually has your back in this life. Some people have bad belle for you and have always wanted your man, especially if they can see he’s a keeper.

I was going to say that the only time it is acceptable to date your friends ex is when she says so but even this is only half true. Sometimes girls like to try and prove to their friends that they have moved on, especially if the guy did her dirty. As her friend you should know if she’s lying to you or not, she might say it’s okay but if every time his name comes up she gets a glassy look in her eye you should know that it’s not okay.

Sadly, it seems I have failed you; I don’t have an answer to this question :(

All I can say is, if you’re the girl that wants her friends ex then make sure that you’re sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is worth it. And if you’re the girl that’s feeling betrayed by her ex and former best friend then all I have to say is don’t worry they would break up soon! The sun would come out tomorrow and you would be fine.

Use the comment box people, share your thoughts on the matter, help me answer this age old (?) question!

“With This Ring I Thee Promise”- The Promise Ring Paradigm

I would never forget the look on my mother’s face and the confusion in mine when she sent me to buy my brother a gift for his (female) school friend whose birthday it was. Jewellery was the suggested present so I popped into Accesorize, looked around found this gorgeous ring, and bought it. On presenting it to my mother she went into swift Yoruba, roughly translating to “Ahh, Morenike, don’t you know any better? A boy cannot give a girl a ring lest he plans on proposing to her with said ring.”

Now truth be told, this came as news to me. It’s just like any other piece of jewellery as long as both parties are sure that the relationship is platonic no? Well apparently not. Which brings me to the topic of this blogpost, the much coveted promise ring. In essence, a promise ring, as made famous by Tiffany Evan’s and Ciara, is more or less a pre-engagement ring where the guy promises not to lie, cheat, hurt and/or whatever other bad things guys sometimes do to girls. Sweet huh? I know right.

My only beef with promise rings is when the guy in question is almost certainly should not be dashing out rings to anyone **cough** Chris Brown & Karrueche **cough**

As far as I’m concerned he still has eyes for Rihanna, especially if she was truly the cause for him and Drake’s recent blow up, but let’s allow that discussion for now. Neanderthals who do it just because they think it’s ‘cool’ need not degrade the value of the promise ring. I like to think of it as one of the highest forms of flattery before marriage but there I go, romanticising everything, I really do need to get out of my head sometimes. Anwyays, as you were.

Bisous xx

Burning Emotion

Okay so a couple of days ago I went to see Daley, an R&B-ish singer, live in Manchester and he was AH-MAH-ZING I must say! (Download his mix tape “Those Who Wait” for free and give him a chance.)

Anyways, his lyrics always ring so true to me but this inspired me to write a short story:

“We spend emotion, it’s the currency that we burn to get love in return.”

I don’t really know what it’s about yet tbh but read on and we’d both find out soon enough!

Angela was 16 when she met Chris, the dashing young entrepreneur. It all started at her father’s office, he was the CEO of a multinational company based in Abuja. She stopped by everyday after school to bring him lunch and tell him all about her day, they were close like that. Her mother passed away when she was 12. Cancer. Devastating to their entire family. Her dad had always been her whole life, and she was his.

His smell hit her first, that heady feeling you get from a mixture of cologne and cigarettes caused her to turn around, wondering where it came from. Next she heard the footsteps on the hardwood floor, they were brisk, long strides, like an army official. She did love men in uniform. She was already fantasising about what he would look like. Her dad was speaking, saying something about a meeting and getting home a bit later from work tonight but she wasn’t really listening. It was then she saw him as he entered her father’s office. Tall, dark and looking so goddam sharp in his tailored suit. Yea, no. Men in suits were far more dashing than men in uniform. Fixated on his face, she didn’t even notice her father introduce them. “Angela, this is Chris, the newest member of my team. He’s just graduated from University of Jos, he might have some tips for your application. I have to get to that meeting now but I’d see you at home.”

Chris was just one of those people. He had the good looks, the good grades and could persuade just about anyone to do what he wanted with his devilishly silky voice. Chasing girls had always been one of his favourite pastimes but he was growing bored of the current repertoire of girls. There was something about his boss’ daughter though, the uniform-clad girl couldn’t be any more than 18 but her body had the features of a Venetian goddess. He had seen her come in everyday at the same time for the last week and couldn’t get her out of his mind. He put on his most charming voice “Hi Angela, it’s such a pleasure to meet you” staring into her deep brown eyes. She was flustered he could tell by the way she blinked continuously when she shook his hand.

“Pleasure to meet you too Chris.”

TWO MONTHS LATER

“Get out of bed Chris, you’re going to be late.” He loved it when she got all serious and impatient. It was July and the schools had broken up for summer, Angela was free all the time hence the late night/early morning Skype calls, but he still had to work tirelessly. “What’s the point of dating the oga’s daughter if I can’t stroll into work whenever I feel like?” he said in his sleep-thick voice. “The point is that the ‘Oga’ does not know that you’re dating his daughter.” She always tried to say this with as much nonchalance as possible but he could hear the iota of doubt and insecurity that crept into her voice every time.

It had been Chris’ idea to keep the relationship a secret, her father would never approve of his precious angel dating a serial womanizer like him but the secrecy always made Angela feel sick. She hated lying to her dad, he was after all, her everything. If she were to know then, what she did now, she would never have agreed to the terms of this arrangement.