Her Best Friends Guy

Happy new month everybody! Here's to praying that August brings you all the success and joy that you want for yourselves in life! Stay strong! Not to take away from the Staying Single series currently going on, but I still have to blog about 'normal' things sometimes!

Anyways, as some of you may know by now, I like to rant and recent conversation with friends begs that I with my infinite wisdom (self washing, le worst!) try and answer the question. “Is it ever okay to date your friends ex?” Unfortunately this question has so many variables that even as a seasoned engineer (another bout of self washing, forgive me, the sun is out or at least it was when I was writing this!) my head spins as I think about it. Let us now postulate that:

1. This question is specifically but not entirely directed to girls, our male counterparts have all sorts of other rules in their universe that I will not try and understand.

2. The friend is question is not an acquaintance; she’s not one of the girls you call when you want to go out. She’s one that you call when you’re feeling low.

3. Her and her ex dated ‘seriously and exclusively’ for 14 months.

4. They’ve been broken up for about 4 months now.

Okay, I think I’ve got it all covered now. You see, many variables.

Now as much as I am always pro Sparta and someday seek to be their Queen. (A Spartan is a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it), I think that there is a point where things can be taken too far and issues like this can cause irrevocable damage to a friendship.

Some people say that sometimes things just happen, you didn’t mean to fall in love with him. BULLSHIT! You know who he is, and you know all the ins and outs of his relationship with your friend, this was no mistake. You wanted him and now you have him, don’t try and hide behind silly stories of a flame lit in a period of darkness. You should have considered your friends feelings before you were having midnight conversations with him. Other times girls just have to be careful and know who their true friends are. Unfortunately not everyone out there that you consider a friend actually has your back in this life. Some people have bad belle for you and have always wanted your man, especially if they can see he’s a keeper.

I was going to say that the only time it is acceptable to date your friends ex is when she says so but even this is only half true. Sometimes girls like to try and prove to their friends that they have moved on, especially if the guy did her dirty. As her friend you should know if she’s lying to you or not, she might say it’s okay but if every time his name comes up she gets a glassy look in her eye you should know that it’s not okay.

Sadly, it seems I have failed you; I don’t have an answer to this question :(

All I can say is, if you’re the girl that wants her friends ex then make sure that you’re sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is worth it. And if you’re the girl that’s feeling betrayed by her ex and former best friend then all I have to say is don’t worry they would break up soon! The sun would come out tomorrow and you would be fine.

Use the comment box people, share your thoughts on the matter, help me answer this age old (?) question!

Graduation Season: Appreciating the Good Friends

As we can all tell, it’s graduation season, how happy I am to be amongst the privileged many that get to throw their hats up into the sun, hoping for a bright future J. In case you didn’t know, I recently graduated from the University of Manchester, BEng (Hons) in Chemical Engineering. Whooop!

One other thing that is commonplace in graduation season is various lunches, dinners and other events to celebrate. And as the universe has been trying wickedly to expand my waistline I can say that I am happy I have been to the last of those for now! (time to hit that gym baby!) At one of said dinners, I was asked to give a short speech about a very dear friend of mine. It was awkward sha I can’t lie! I don’t like speaking in public but if I am to be Queen of Sparta I see no other way to get around this, so I took this as a practice run. Thinking about what to say during the dinner made me reflect on my friendship with her and think of all the years I’ve known her. Truth be told it gave me a better understanding of the word friendship, both through the good times and the bad times we’ve managed to somehow still be here today as good friends and that made me glow with pride (okay, not quite glow, but what’s life without a little exaggeration?). We sometimes spend every day with friends, or speak to them every day but we rarely ever take time out to let them know that they mean everything to us and we appreciate them.

I am writing this post grateful that the god Lord has deemed it fit to bless me with some of the best friends a girl could ever asked for and I just want to let you all know, both my close friends and my not so close ones, that I appreciate you all! Now go on out there and tell somebody that you love them!

Side note: For anyone that went to the Watch the Throne concerts, through out writing this post I kept thinking of Kanye’s loooong performance of Runaway and him going on forever about telling someone out there that you love them! Some really soppy ish! LMAO

Love,
Moi

My Latest Nemesis: A game with Friends

My grandparents are such a cute couple! You know, the kind that has grown together in love and what not, 50 years is a long time. Anyways this post isn’t really about them. It’s about Scrabble. You see, one of the things that my grandparents do together whenever they are on holiday and just chilling is play Scrabble. They have been doing this for years and even on holidays like Good Friday, all their friends come round, eat and drink and then end the evening in a competitive game of Scrabble while trading stories of life. I’ve played against my Grandma a few times but with her knowledge of vocabulary, especially Scrabble’s two letter words, she defeats me every time!

One would think that this means that I play a mean game of Scrabble having after all, learnt from the best. I even used to think I was a decent player. All of this changed when I met Afam! Just recently, I embarked on a game of  “Words with Friends” against my dearest Afam. Make no mistake, Afam is no friend when he plays this game and would soon to become my nemesis. Can I just say to those who might be thinking of challenging him in this game, tread carefully! From 64 point bangers to two letter words that when placed in the right squares bring in a massive 30 points. I have met a range of skilled players but never has any of them had an almost 200 points lead on me! My self-confidence is shattered! Dead, dead and dead again!

After this I decided that I needed to start reading more! The last time I read a novel was in June! Horrifying! Trust me, I know. But in an attempt to increase my vocabulary, I shall be browsing the shelves of Waterstones to find my summer reads. I will be posting my list as I compile it. Recommendations are much appreciated. I have decided to make it one of my summer goals to beat Afam in a game of “Words with Friends”.

Side note: The novel that I did read in June is called “The Memory of Love” by Sierra Leone-an (help here?) woman, Aminatta Forna. It is the most incredible story I’ve read this year! Set in post war S.L. It is a definite must read! I was going to include a whole spoiler section but the more weak-willed of you wouldn’t be able to resist and then you might not read the book, which would be doing yourself a disservice!

Ta ta for now!

Morenike xx