Staying Single: Part 6- Cut Your Cloth

If you haven't been keepig up, find older parts here:

Part1: I Will Be Single! Will I?

Part2: Poor little Sola Boy

Part3: Return of the Mac or umm, the Ex?

Part4: Pure Carnal Lust

Part5: All Hail the Queen of Awkward Moments
Part 5.5: A Suitor, A Disciple & A Sola

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I suppose I should be happy, two, or is it three? Guys were literally fighting over me. But it’s not fair, I only want one!

It had been 6 days, 14 hours and 13 minutes since the scene at Amaranto, the most embarrassing day of Kemi’s life so far. Sola had pulled her out of harms way and then gone to join in with the bouncers in separating the fight. He had then taken her home, a place she no longer allowed him to frequent recklessly since his big reveal. Clearly thinking that he had found his window, he gave her a mock lecture on the perils of too much alcohol and of wearing teeny tiny skirts while trying to engage her in a stimulating match of tonsil hockey. It took a ‘playful’ slap from her to get him to stop acting like a crazed beast and leave her be to nurse what would surely be the hangover of Satan himself.

6 days, 14 hours and 13 minutes. She only knew this because this was also the same amount of time she had been constantly talking to The Suitor for. They had seen each other two more times since then; once when they went to the movies to see “Think Like A Man” and again when they went on a ‘picnic’ on Primrose Hill. Whose silly romantic idea was that?! **Covers head in shame at the thought of herself running away from grasshoppers** Of course the Disciple had forgiven her, in fact she hadn’t even had to apologise, he apologised for getting jealous and insecure and she graciously accepted. All those poise classes are finally paying off.

Today was going to be their third date, well it wasn’t really a date so much as a gathering but still Kemi was excited. Stephanie (one of The Girls) was having a pool party that weekend and The Suitor would be present. Time to show off this summer body I’ve been working on! Also let it be known that Stephanie is filthy rich and spoilt rotten by her father.

At Stephanie’s house on the event day:

Remy: Today is going to be too mad, Steph did your dad get the DJ sorted out?

Stephanie: Ahh, of course now, you shouldn’t even have to ask.

Nkechi: Alcohol nko? There’s no rockies without the sauce oh!

Kemi: Guys, this is Steph we’re talking about, has she ever dulled us?

Steph: Help me ask these harlots oh!

Remy: **mock offence** I’m not a whore, but I do plan on being one tonight

All laugh

Kemi: Technically the time for the party is now, what’s everyone wearing? I think we should start getting ready now.

2 hours later. Yes it took 2 hours to get ready for a pool party; we are fine girls, stop judging us!

Kemi: Umm, guys.. My skirt wouldn’t zip. Somebody come and try, it must zip by force today! Lord please let the skirt zip, I would never try and fit my ass into a size 6 again!

Nkechi: Come here let me try

After heaving and ho-ing for about 20 minutes, the girls were about to give up on Kemi’s skirt until Steph had a brilliant idea!

Steph: I think the zip is just stuck, come let me sew you into it.

All agree. Another 20 minutes and the skirt is done, people are already arriving downstairs and you can hear the DJ blasting Wizkid and M.I. Getting downstairs there is an array of topless boys and scantily clad girls but mostly topless boys, or that’s what Kemi sees anyways. Today is going to be a great day. She wonders of to find the Suitor whom she knows has arrived and finds him seated in a circle with his usual posse and a few extras. Of course Remy has found Jide and is sitting comfortably on his lap, she marks her territory so well. When he sees her he picks her up and spins her around playfully and kisses her forehead.

Suitor: Hey baby, I’ve missed you today. 6 days and we’re already on baby? Well I suppose he is American. You should have warned me you were looking so hot, definitely ain’t mad at that skirt!

Kemi: Haha, don’t make me blush.

Suitor: **sitting down** come sit with me

She can feel the scalding looks the Ex is giving her from the other side of the circle. Na you oh, jealousy go worry you tey today.

As Kemi adjusts her skirt and begins the slow descent that would ultimately end with her backside on the Suitors muscular thighs, she hears a funny sound and feels a cold gush of air on her backside.

Don’t. Tell. Me. My. Skirt. Just. Ripped. Please Heavenly father say it isn’t so!

Her Best Friends Guy

Happy new month everybody! Here's to praying that August brings you all the success and joy that you want for yourselves in life! Stay strong! Not to take away from the Staying Single series currently going on, but I still have to blog about 'normal' things sometimes!

Anyways, as some of you may know by now, I like to rant and recent conversation with friends begs that I with my infinite wisdom (self washing, le worst!) try and answer the question. “Is it ever okay to date your friends ex?” Unfortunately this question has so many variables that even as a seasoned engineer (another bout of self washing, forgive me, the sun is out or at least it was when I was writing this!) my head spins as I think about it. Let us now postulate that:

1. This question is specifically but not entirely directed to girls, our male counterparts have all sorts of other rules in their universe that I will not try and understand.

2. The friend is question is not an acquaintance; she’s not one of the girls you call when you want to go out. She’s one that you call when you’re feeling low.

3. Her and her ex dated ‘seriously and exclusively’ for 14 months.

4. They’ve been broken up for about 4 months now.

Okay, I think I’ve got it all covered now. You see, many variables.

Now as much as I am always pro Sparta and someday seek to be their Queen. (A Spartan is a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it), I think that there is a point where things can be taken too far and issues like this can cause irrevocable damage to a friendship.

Some people say that sometimes things just happen, you didn’t mean to fall in love with him. BULLSHIT! You know who he is, and you know all the ins and outs of his relationship with your friend, this was no mistake. You wanted him and now you have him, don’t try and hide behind silly stories of a flame lit in a period of darkness. You should have considered your friends feelings before you were having midnight conversations with him. Other times girls just have to be careful and know who their true friends are. Unfortunately not everyone out there that you consider a friend actually has your back in this life. Some people have bad belle for you and have always wanted your man, especially if they can see he’s a keeper.

I was going to say that the only time it is acceptable to date your friends ex is when she says so but even this is only half true. Sometimes girls like to try and prove to their friends that they have moved on, especially if the guy did her dirty. As her friend you should know if she’s lying to you or not, she might say it’s okay but if every time his name comes up she gets a glassy look in her eye you should know that it’s not okay.

Sadly, it seems I have failed you; I don’t have an answer to this question :(

All I can say is, if you’re the girl that wants her friends ex then make sure that you’re sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is worth it. And if you’re the girl that’s feeling betrayed by her ex and former best friend then all I have to say is don’t worry they would break up soon! The sun would come out tomorrow and you would be fine.

Use the comment box people, share your thoughts on the matter, help me answer this age old (?) question!

Graduation Season: Appreciating the Good Friends

As we can all tell, it’s graduation season, how happy I am to be amongst the privileged many that get to throw their hats up into the sun, hoping for a bright future J. In case you didn’t know, I recently graduated from the University of Manchester, BEng (Hons) in Chemical Engineering. Whooop!

One other thing that is commonplace in graduation season is various lunches, dinners and other events to celebrate. And as the universe has been trying wickedly to expand my waistline I can say that I am happy I have been to the last of those for now! (time to hit that gym baby!) At one of said dinners, I was asked to give a short speech about a very dear friend of mine. It was awkward sha I can’t lie! I don’t like speaking in public but if I am to be Queen of Sparta I see no other way to get around this, so I took this as a practice run. Thinking about what to say during the dinner made me reflect on my friendship with her and think of all the years I’ve known her. Truth be told it gave me a better understanding of the word friendship, both through the good times and the bad times we’ve managed to somehow still be here today as good friends and that made me glow with pride (okay, not quite glow, but what’s life without a little exaggeration?). We sometimes spend every day with friends, or speak to them every day but we rarely ever take time out to let them know that they mean everything to us and we appreciate them.

I am writing this post grateful that the god Lord has deemed it fit to bless me with some of the best friends a girl could ever asked for and I just want to let you all know, both my close friends and my not so close ones, that I appreciate you all! Now go on out there and tell somebody that you love them!

Side note: For anyone that went to the Watch the Throne concerts, through out writing this post I kept thinking of Kanye’s loooong performance of Runaway and him going on forever about telling someone out there that you love them! Some really soppy ish! LMAO

Love,
Moi