Showing posts with label awkward. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awkward. Show all posts

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Staying Single: Part 7- The Number One Suitor



Unfortunately it is so. Thank goodness Remy had realised the error also and as she was such a quick thinker, pulled me up spun her around quickly so that her exposed panties were not on show to the whole world. Sadly it was a little too late, a couple of people had already spotted the misdemeanour and were in fits of laughter. Kemi mumbled a few incoherent words to The Suitor and allows Remy to usher her past the people looking to see what was so funny. Once again, my gist will be everywhere! WHY ALWAYS ME?

They get upstairs and Kemi is too upset to do anything but hold back tears of frustration and change into leggings and a tank top. Stephanie who had seen the whole thing followed them to her room

Steph: Babe it really wasn’t that bad, nobody saw everything I swear
Remy: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell her! Babe don’t cry and spoil your make up.
Kemi: **exasperated** it’s easy for you to say; the whole world didn’t just see your bride price! And did you see the smug look on the Ex’s face? I could have slapped him! I’m so ashamed right now; I definitely can’t go back down there! Steph do you mind if I just stay in your room for a while?

Steph: Suit yourself, but it really wasn’t that bad. Trust me, I’ve seen far worse! Imagine if you were actually fat now!
Remy: You can’t stay up here for the rest of the night oh! Don’t even think about it girl!

Out of the blue, there’s a knock on the door, thinking it’s Nkechi coming to join the gang Steph opens the door and lo and behold none other than the Suitor.

Suitor: Do you mind if I come in?
Steph, Remy: Glance hastily at Kemi and back again to the Suitor.
Kemi: No not really, it’s over anyways.

Steph and Remy quietly leave the room without another word, leaving just Kemi and the Suitor in this slight awkwardness that highlights the room.

Suitor: I’m really sorry about your skirt baby, but you still look beautiful in the tights though
Kemi: They are leggings!
Suitor: Oh. My bad.

**more awkwardness**

Suitor: So you ready to come back downstairs? I wanted to introduce you to my friend.

Kemi: What kind of fool is this? Introduce ke?? After the debacle that just ensued? God forbid! Id rather not go down right now, I’m still pretty embarrassed to be honest.

Suitor: **approaching her** Oh come here baby.

He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close to him, he smells of intoxicating cologne and manliness and Kemi can’t muster the willpower to make him stop. Plus she doesn’t want to, she wraps her arms around his shoulders and slowly he lifts her chin and locks his eyes unto hers, staring into his dark brown eyes Kemi feels all the embarrassment and shame of the last few minutes melting away. Slowly and passionately they kiss, their bodies moving together in perfect harmony like waves in the ocean crashing at the shore and retreating to the water just to come crashing again. Kemi releases her grip from his neck and lifts her hands up.

Gosh Kemi, in Steph’s room?? But he’s such a good kisser though!

The Suitor as if understanding exactly what she wants takes off her tank top and removes his shirt, revealing abs that can cut through diamond. They kiss quicker, like they just realised the world was coming to an end and the only way to stop it is to exchange saliva as quickly as possible. The Suitor kisses down her neck and on to her collarbone.

My life needs a soundtrack. Now humming inwardly Keyshia Cole- Heaven Sent

**Ahem** someone clears their throat, none of them had even been aware of the door being opened. The Prince is standing in the doorframe looking at them with this looks that says, “I nabbed you” on his face.

The Prince: I figured if you were going to play me with anyone it would be Sola, who’s this n*gga?

Luckily The Prince wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation, he had come to the room looking for Stephanie because the party was running low on drinks.

Kemi: We should go back downstairs too, see if there’s anything I can do to help

Suitor: Who is Sola? That dude from Amaranto?

Kemi: **kissing him** Yea that one. Hmm, so being weak in the knees isn’t a myth huh? Who knew.

Suitor: **pulling away** were you guys together or something?

Kemi: Why do my moments always get ruined by some uncanny act or another? No, we’re just quite close that’s all.

Taking his hand she forces him out of the room to avoid further conversation and they head back to their friends.

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Staying Single: Part 6- Cut Your Cloth

If you haven't been keepig up, find older parts here:

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I suppose I should be happy, two, or is it three? Guys were literally fighting over me. But it’s not fair, I only want one!

It had been 6 days, 14 hours and 13 minutes since the scene at Amaranto, the most embarrassing day of Kemi’s life so far. Sola had pulled her out of harms way and then gone to join in with the bouncers in separating the fight. He had then taken her home, a place she no longer allowed him to frequent recklessly since his big reveal. Clearly thinking that he had found his window, he gave her a mock lecture on the perils of too much alcohol and of wearing teeny tiny skirts while trying to engage her in a stimulating match of tonsil hockey. It took a ‘playful’ slap from her to get him to stop acting like a crazed beast and leave her be to nurse what would surely be the hangover of Satan himself.

6 days, 14 hours and 13 minutes. She only knew this because this was also the same amount of time she had been constantly talking to The Suitor for. They had seen each other two more times since then; once when they went to the movies to see “Think Like A Man” and again when they went on a ‘picnic’ on Primrose Hill. Whose silly romantic idea was that?! **Covers head in shame at the thought of herself running away from grasshoppers** Of course the Disciple had forgiven her, in fact she hadn’t even had to apologise, he apologised for getting jealous and insecure and she graciously accepted. All those poise classes are finally paying off.

Today was going to be their third date, well it wasn’t really a date so much as a gathering but still Kemi was excited. Stephanie (one of The Girls) was having a pool party that weekend and The Suitor would be present. Time to show off this summer body I’ve been working on! Also let it be known that Stephanie is filthy rich and spoilt rotten by her father.

At Stephanie’s house on the event day:
Remy: Today is going to be too mad, Steph did your dad get the DJ sorted out?
Stephanie: Ahh, of course now, you shouldn’t even have to ask.
Nkechi: Alcohol nko? There’s no rockies without the sauce oh!
Kemi: Guys, this is Steph we’re talking about, has she ever dulled us?
Steph: Help me ask these harlots oh!
Remy: **mock offence** I’m not a whore, but I do plan on being one tonight

All laugh

Kemi: Technically the time for the party is now, what’s everyone wearing? I think we should start getting ready now.

2 hours later. Yes it took 2 hours to get ready for a pool party; we are fine girls, stop judging us!

Kemi: Umm, guys.. My skirt wouldn’t zip. Somebody come and try, it must zip by force today! Lord please let the skirt zip, I would never try and fit my ass into a size 6 again!
Nkechi: Come here let me try

After heaving and ho-ing for about 20 minutes, the girls were about to give up on Kemi’s skirt until Steph had a brilliant idea!

Steph: I think the zip is just stuck, come let me sew you into it.

All agree. Another 20 minutes and the skirt is done, people are already arriving downstairs and you can hear the DJ blasting Wizkid and M.I. Getting downstairs there is an array of topless boys and scantily clad girls but mostly topless boys, or that’s what Kemi sees anyways. Today is going to be a great day. She wonders of to find the Suitor whom she knows has arrived and finds him seated in a circle with his usual posse and a few extras. Of course Remy has found Jide and is sitting comfortably on his lap, she marks her territory so well. When he sees her he picks her up and spins her around playfully and kisses her forehead.

Suitor: Hey baby, I’ve missed you today. 6 days and we’re already on baby? Well I suppose he is American. You should have warned me you were looking so hot, definitely ain’t mad at that skirt!

Kemi: Haha, don’t make me blush.

Suitor: **sitting down** come sit with me

She can feel the scalding looks the Ex is giving her from the other side of the circle. Na you oh, jealousy go worry you tey today.

As Kemi adjusts her skirt and begins the slow descent that would ultimately end with her backside on the Suitors muscular thighs, she hears a funny sound and feels a cold gush of air on her backside.

Don’t. Tell. Me. My. Skirt. Just. Ripped. Please Heavenly father say it isn’t so!