Staying Single
Incase you missed it, Part 1: I Will Be Single! Will I?
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What
the heck does he want now?? She keeps staring at her phone until it eventually
stops ringing, and even then she keep staring at it like she’s waiting for
something to jump out of it. Today is just going to be one of those days isn’t
it? She can feel it. After weeks of not talking to The Ex and trying not to Facebook
stalk him more than 5 times a week, now he calls her out of the blue?? To say
what exactly? It was probably a pocket
dial anyways. Her phone beeps. Voicemail has 1 new message. Okay now she
actually NEEDS Remy. Looking for the perfect outfit to say, I-like-you-but-I-don’t-want-to-be-your-girlfriend,
is much harder than one would imagine! If the skirt is too short, it’s unfair
to the boy. If the shorts are too tight, it’s unfair to the world. If she
decides to be all “Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin with no make up on”, it’s
unfair to Drake! Finally she opts for a casual t-shirt and jeans and hops into
the shower.
It’s
1:30 p.m. before she arrives at CafĂ© Rouge; luckily Sola hadn’t been on time
either so he’s only been waiting for 20 minutes. Imagine if I got there early, Silly
boy. On seeing him she needs to remind herself why exactly she is about to
decline this proposal. Sitting at the table, listening to music through his headphones
Sola has never looked more divine. The sun reflects perfectly off his dark
flawless skin and he has this cool look on his face, clearly he’s far far away.
On seeing her he snaps back into reality from whatever daydream previously
occupied his mind and delivers his most charming smile, capable of melting
hearts. “Sola is just my friend, I do not
need a man in my life to make me feel fulfilled. Repeat. Sola is just my
friend, I do not need a man in my life to make me feel fulfilled. Repea-“
Kemi:
Hey, sorry I’m late. My wardrobe went crazy on me.
Sola:
No worries babe, you look stunning as usual. I already ordered you your usual.
**sigh** what an awesome
almost-boyfriend he makes.
Kemi:
So Remy told me about some of the stuff you said to her last night, is it..
Sola: **cutting her off** Yea, I wasn’t really myself, I don’t know why I did that.
Kemi:
Oh so you don’t like me then? It’s funny how girls get slightly offended when the person
that they thought liked them, that they don’t like, says he doesn’t like them. Complicated
creatures we are I tell you!
Sola:
**silence**
Kemi:
Come on, you can tell me anything, you know that.. Sola?
Sola:
You led me on and made me fall for you; now what am I supposed to do? I can’t just
let you go.
Kemi:
You are making this so awkward, I never led you on and I’m really sorry if you feel
I did!
Sola:
So all those nights you were crying on my shoulder and falling asleep in my
arms meant nothing?
Kemi:
This boy’s view on love is rather warped
oh. I was heartbroken over the Ex, you know that!
Sola:
Whatever, you’re just a b*tch who uses people because she feels like it.
Kemi:
Wow. **gets up to leave**
Sola:
Babe, I’m sorry, please don’t leave like that. I’m a bit out of sorts this
morning.
Kemi:
Just take your stupid flawless hand off
me! I’m just not ready for a new relationship; do you think we can be
friends?
Sola:
I guess so. Although you make it hard for me when you keep wearing these skin-tight
jeans. Pun intended.
Why cant everything in life
just always be this simple? They fought, made-up and were haveing lunch together happily gisting
about all the latest happenings in under 30 minutes. Sola flirts tirelessly and
it’s obvious that he does infact have deep feelings for her. She keeps catching
him staring at her in the most unusual way but she knows she’s made the right
choice. Kemi really wants to tell him about the voicemail from The Ex that she
still hasn’t listened to yet but it feels like the wrong time, so she resolves
herself to marching over to Remy’s house so they can listen to it together.
**Three
hours later**
Remy:
Okay then play the voicemail now let’s see what the stupid boy has to say now
after 1 month.
Kemi:
Actually it’s been 2.
Remy:
Okay just play it anyways.
She
reaches for her phone and dials for voicemail
“Hey
Kemi, ummm, sorry I didn’t know who else to call, I need your help and it’s
kind of urgent. Call me back when you get this, um, yeah, bye.”
What? He needs my help??
What kind of help? Maybe he’s ready to apologise and beg for me back, we can
live in a castle in the sky and have nightcaps every night! Hmmmm should I
accept or not?
Her
thoughts were broken into by Remy, ever the realist.
Remy:
What does this boy want from you now?? He better stop with all his cryptic
rubbish. You’re not going to help him are you? Kemi! Stop daydreaming about
having his babies!
Kemi:
How does she know me so well? Huh? Oh
yeah.. Well let me see what he has to say first now, you never know. Our babies would be tall and have his
perfect eyebrows and eyelashes. Oh the joy!
Remy:
Dey dere! Ive warned you now oh. You need to keep trying to get over this boy.
He’s no good for you. Infact, call him back while I’m here. I don’t trust you;
you might start begging him to take you back now. Shioor.
Kemi:
Okay madam smart-ass, I’d call him back now. Just be quiet, I don’t want him to
get spooked because you’re around.
Remy:
**rolls eyes**
Kemi:
Okay shhh, it’s ringing. Let me put it on speaker. Be still oh beating heart of mine.
The
Ex: Hello?
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