Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Staying Single: Part 6- Cut Your Cloth

If you haven't been keepig up, find older parts here:

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I suppose I should be happy, two, or is it three? Guys were literally fighting over me. But it’s not fair, I only want one!

It had been 6 days, 14 hours and 13 minutes since the scene at Amaranto, the most embarrassing day of Kemi’s life so far. Sola had pulled her out of harms way and then gone to join in with the bouncers in separating the fight. He had then taken her home, a place she no longer allowed him to frequent recklessly since his big reveal. Clearly thinking that he had found his window, he gave her a mock lecture on the perils of too much alcohol and of wearing teeny tiny skirts while trying to engage her in a stimulating match of tonsil hockey. It took a ‘playful’ slap from her to get him to stop acting like a crazed beast and leave her be to nurse what would surely be the hangover of Satan himself.

6 days, 14 hours and 13 minutes. She only knew this because this was also the same amount of time she had been constantly talking to The Suitor for. They had seen each other two more times since then; once when they went to the movies to see “Think Like A Man” and again when they went on a ‘picnic’ on Primrose Hill. Whose silly romantic idea was that?! **Covers head in shame at the thought of herself running away from grasshoppers** Of course the Disciple had forgiven her, in fact she hadn’t even had to apologise, he apologised for getting jealous and insecure and she graciously accepted. All those poise classes are finally paying off.

Today was going to be their third date, well it wasn’t really a date so much as a gathering but still Kemi was excited. Stephanie (one of The Girls) was having a pool party that weekend and The Suitor would be present. Time to show off this summer body I’ve been working on! Also let it be known that Stephanie is filthy rich and spoilt rotten by her father.

At Stephanie’s house on the event day:
Remy: Today is going to be too mad, Steph did your dad get the DJ sorted out?
Stephanie: Ahh, of course now, you shouldn’t even have to ask.
Nkechi: Alcohol nko? There’s no rockies without the sauce oh!
Kemi: Guys, this is Steph we’re talking about, has she ever dulled us?
Steph: Help me ask these harlots oh!
Remy: **mock offence** I’m not a whore, but I do plan on being one tonight

All laugh

Kemi: Technically the time for the party is now, what’s everyone wearing? I think we should start getting ready now.

2 hours later. Yes it took 2 hours to get ready for a pool party; we are fine girls, stop judging us!

Kemi: Umm, guys.. My skirt wouldn’t zip. Somebody come and try, it must zip by force today! Lord please let the skirt zip, I would never try and fit my ass into a size 6 again!
Nkechi: Come here let me try

After heaving and ho-ing for about 20 minutes, the girls were about to give up on Kemi’s skirt until Steph had a brilliant idea!

Steph: I think the zip is just stuck, come let me sew you into it.

All agree. Another 20 minutes and the skirt is done, people are already arriving downstairs and you can hear the DJ blasting Wizkid and M.I. Getting downstairs there is an array of topless boys and scantily clad girls but mostly topless boys, or that’s what Kemi sees anyways. Today is going to be a great day. She wonders of to find the Suitor whom she knows has arrived and finds him seated in a circle with his usual posse and a few extras. Of course Remy has found Jide and is sitting comfortably on his lap, she marks her territory so well. When he sees her he picks her up and spins her around playfully and kisses her forehead.

Suitor: Hey baby, I’ve missed you today. 6 days and we’re already on baby? Well I suppose he is American. You should have warned me you were looking so hot, definitely ain’t mad at that skirt!

Kemi: Haha, don’t make me blush.

Suitor: **sitting down** come sit with me

She can feel the scalding looks the Ex is giving her from the other side of the circle. Na you oh, jealousy go worry you tey today.

As Kemi adjusts her skirt and begins the slow descent that would ultimately end with her backside on the Suitors muscular thighs, she hears a funny sound and feels a cold gush of air on her backside.

Don’t. Tell. Me. My. Skirt. Just. Ripped. Please Heavenly father say it isn’t so!

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