Lagos Nightlife: Four Shots in Likwid!

So I’ve been messing around with my blog again, I now have ew category tabs on the top so you my dears can quickly navigate to wherever you want! I did this partly because, I think but I’m not sure, I’m going to expand my blog to talk about more things; namely my New Year goals, including schoolwork, weight management/loss and hair growth! There are so many things I want to achieve and I thought “Hey! Might as well blog about it!” So yeah, in the next few months there might be more changes after I decide what I would like to share with the rest of the world. Oh and I also have a cool new signature at the end of my posts! Already making myself better, hehe. Anyways, that was just an update, bear with me as I try and perfect it!

On to the matter at hand today… Have you ever gone out clubbing and on your way out of the club, just before you got into your car heard 4 warning shots being fired into the air?? Yes, warning shots, from an actual hand held gun, FOUR of them! Friday night for me was so crazy and so eventful that I really don’t know where to begin. After hearing various stories about last weekend including girls falling into gutters while trying enter Likwid (A club in Lagos), people being put in the boot of their cars and warning shots being fired I wasn’t too keen on the whole idea of Lagos night life. I mean, as a babe! How can they push me into a gutter because I want to enter club! God forbid! Some things in life are just not worth the hassle! I mean, what do you even do when you’re in the gutter? These things are pretty deep as well and far from empty, how would you get out? How would you clean yourself up after? Or would you just get into your car with all the sewage and murkiness and go home? The thought of it literally sends shivers down my spine! Especially as I’m a bit of a germophobe!

Anyways after having a less than mediocre night at Koko concert the day before, (read all about it here) I decided I had to give the Lagos nightlife another go! So once again I got up, got dressed and headed out. First stop was Churrasco’s, as a true Lagosian, you can never go to just one place on a night out. The minimum is three, with four being about average. I think this pertains to the fact that clubbing is completely free, for girls anyways, except when the bouncers are being dicks. Back to Churrasco’s, I arrived there just after 11 (no this is not late, clubs generally don’t shut till the people all leave and this is typically around 5.30/6 a.m., we go hard!) and was greeted by a multitude of familiar faces, amongst this was fellow blogger and friend Afam! This would have been fine if I wasn’t so socially awkward sometimes (not with Afam, the other people!) I just get nervous and want to run away half the time! But as a sure babe I took it in my stride, or at least tried to! At about 1.30 it was finally time to head to the club, getting there and seeing the crowd I was already pissed off, my mood can be so volatile. But why the heck were people crowding around the gates, trampling and shoving each other like it was the pearl gates to Heaven? Nigerians really need to learn the concept of LINES! Everyone is always trying to use connections to get in, sometimes it’s like n*gga shut the hell up and wait in line! Ugh. At some point during this wait the gates were opened a little bit too wide and there was a mini stampede to get in. Sadly but also luckily, I was not amongst those that entered the gate. My friends and I decided Likwid was a bust so we moved on to our next joint. Radisson Blu.

Radisson was so much bants, another friend and fellow blogger @iTweetBanter and his posse give me so much jokes! After hassling our waiter Mr Innocent to no avail to find us suya, iTweetBanter and I just decided to drink the night away, it’s either the cocktails here contain far much more alcohol or I’m just a super duper lightweight, or both. By my third one I was positively buzzed and going around in shades at night like a real industry cat! **coolface**. After getting suitably tipsy all 10 or so of us headed back to Likwid, this time we got in hassle free (kinda) and danced the night away, one of the pros of being tipsy is that you don’t care if everyone else around you is just sitting and staring, if you like the music you still dance! Sometimes lowering your inhibitions can be the best thing! At 5 in the morning when we finally decided it was time to head on home, we called the driver to pick us up. One foot in the car and all of a sudden, four warning shots are fired by some MoPo’s (Mobile Police)! I’ve never gotten into a car and ducked my head so quickly; there is arguably nothing more sobering than gun shots! The worst part is, the driver tried to drive away!! Thinking about it now it was funny but really if anything had gone wrong it would have been a disaster! All in all, the night was actually a good one, better than most other nights anyways. But Likwid, Likwid, Likwid! Sort yourselves out before you become the backdrop of a tragic news story!

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Koko Concert: The Israelites Journey to the Promised Land.

So ever since I’ve been back in Lagos I haven’t really gone out, granted it's only been 4 days but the holiday is only 2 weeks long! I’ve seen lots of people yes but mainly at family events and the like so I was excited to finally be heading out on the town last night. My destination of choice, Koko Concert at Eko Atlantic. I was pretty excited to be going to Eko Atlantic, they are basically building a whole new city on reclaimed land and I think it’s a massive incentive that Nigerians should be proud of! The night started like many others, my friends and I deciding what to wear etc. After all the usual hustle all 5 of us are finally ready to roll, we hop in the car and thank Jah that we haven’t been stuck in any traffic from Ikoyi, where we live, to Victoria Island (a.k.a V.I another district in Lagos), little did we know what was waiting for us in V.I. The traffic we hit on Bar Beach road was horrendous! It can’t even be described as snail pace, it was dead locked. No going back, no moving forward! Imagine my annoyance when I saw some people reversing on the other lane to get to the venue faster. You decide if they’re stupid or smart. We decided that the traffic was too much and so we hopped out of the car and followed the masses of people all walking to this same destination. Let me point out that in Lagos it is near impossible to be late for anything! This concert was advertised to begin at 7pm. By 10 pm when I got out of my car it still hadn’t started yet.

2200 hours: We just got out of the car and started walking to the venue; hopefully we would be there in 10 minutes tops.

2210 hours: Oh yay, we are at the gate. Haha to all the suckers to boujis to get out of the car! Wait hold on, where is the place? Why can’t I see it? Oh it’s just a bit further down you say? Okay we’ve already walked this far, might as well keep going.

2220hours: Oh look! Is that Mac? Him and his friends are still in their car, maybe we should have been patient! This walk is taking a bit long!

2235 hours: Yay! Ticket check, I can hear Wizkid’s Azonto playing through the speakers! “Baby dance iyo ke ji jo” it’s boogie time! Oh… Not yet? Where the hell is this place! Why are we still walking!!

2240 hours: I’m scared, I’m cold… We are in the middle of the dessert! It’s dark! Why are we still walking?? Are they taking us to do sacrifice to appease the mami waters (mermaids)?! **flashback scenes of Jenifa part 1 come to mind** my mother would be distraught if she ever found out what we were doing right now!

2250 Finally we are getting our wristbands! I can see the VIP bleachers. Wow, I’m exhausted and thirsty!

Yes you read the right, we walked for AN HOUR to get from the car to the frikken platform, I don’t know what Dapo Oyebanjo was thinking when he allowed us to perform this Israelites journey! During this trek of life I saw all sorts, girls in their Loubs, boys in Tods and I was wondering if they had missed the memo that this concert was on a beach! That is, there is sand everywhere! I felt especially bad for the people who thought their jeeps could compete with the sand. Have you ever seen a tyre whizzing around so fast it’s causing it’s own tornado? My brothers was a Mercedes G-55 stuck in the sand on the way in and on the way back out (yes, we had to walk AGAIN!) the car was still there!! The poor owners, I wonder how they got out eventually!

The show finally started at around 2330 hours and needless to say the crowd was dead! Imagine if you were one of the few that got there on time? Or even before 10! You would have waited at least 2 hours! All in all I would say it was mediocre, there were a couple of awesome acts! My personal favourites were Godwin the violinist, DRB, Burna Boy, Iyanya, Tinie Tempah and part of Big Sean. Pusha T and co were just making unnecessary noise on the stage! Idris Elba as the MC was a complete nuisance, my n*gga was clearly drunk as a skunk! His voice even began to annoy me after some time. Seeing D’banj come on stage in his kingly robes had to be the funniest thing ever, I had such a nostalgic moment, thinking of back in the day when D’banj was the hottest shit ever, he was the best entertainer Nigeria had ever seen! Oh how the mighty have fallen, he might be moving up in the world but his fan base at home is waaay below par, everyone started leaving as soon as he came on. All I wanted to do was dance to Wizkid and Davido, but alas... they never showed up! Only in Nigeria does such happen without even so much as an apology!

There were many many more things wrong with the night, for instance how do you oversell tables of 1 million Naira (£4000/$6500) each and make some of those people have to stand! And then halfway through the night tell these same people to balance their weight because the structure on which they sit might fall! Then as if all of that wasn’t enough, Dapo now had the guts to tell the people in regular and VIP to apologise to the people in VVIP as if we hadn’t gone through our own fair share of bull! (don’t ask what VVIP stands for... I don’t know). Unfortunately, if I keep typing I run the risk of writing a novella! Hmm, maybe that’s not such a bad idea. Maybe I can call it ”The Israelites Journey to the Promised Land. NOT”

Christmas Day: 16 Year Old Boys and Kite High Girls

Hey beautiful people! A belated merry Christmas to you all!

Christmas day is definitely always one of my favourite days in the whole Christmas period, filled with family, friends, spiced meats and too much champagne! It’s definitely a day for jollification! This Christmas day was no different, the party was hosted at my cousins’ house in Lagos, and I saw family members that I haven’t seen in years and years! It’s so weird; the clan has like tripled since we last got together! People I didn’t even remember getting married were married with 2 kids! (Trust me, in a family as big as mine, it’s difficult to keep track of who is married and who is isn’t!) It was super cute meeting all my baby nieces and nephews; babies are so adorable! I love how they are so easily entertained by just about anything you put in front of them! There was even games and karaoke and the mandatory dancing that comes with celebrations. You should see my granddad breaking it down on the dance floor, it really is quite amusing.

This Christmas day was a bit weirder than some other ones I’ve experienced in the past though, I wasn’t quite sure what to make out of this 16 year old boy trying to convince me that he was 18 so that meant I was only a year older than him and therefore we should be together.. Firstly, no, I’m not 19. And secondly, I’m pretty sure he tried to feel my boobs with his head when he came for a bye-bye hug. That was strange; I was like “Hellooo, tiny person. This is very inappropriate!” But hey, it was Christmas day! If him resting his head on my bosom for half a second would have made his day any more special then well… no actually, I take that back. It was still weird!

But even weirder was my encounter with this girl! Okay so I must point out now that I don’t think ive ever seen anyone high, well except my dad's driver but he doesn't count! (May his soul rest in peace) I mean it’s not like I’m some goody two shoes that’s never been around weed but I just don’t think I’ve ever noticed it! Anyways, in comes this girl, extremely scantily clad. (May I point out now that she’s not part of the family) I think she missed the memo that it was a family affair not the strip club. I usually feel bad when I judge people but her outfit was scandalous. Some tiny shorts barely covering her barely-there bum, you know the kind that rises towards the outside to form like a V shape? And some velvety slinky low cut tank top. I will not lie, she did look good, it was just inappropriate! Anyways, I digress. After hours of watching her in amusement and giggling every time someone passed a comment about her choice of attire I had my first encounter with her in my cousins room. Here goes the conversation:

Me: Hey, have you seen Skinny Minnie? (that’s not her actual name)

Inappropriate Girl: No, she was here like twenty minutes ago.

Me (Upon noticing her eyes looking extremely bloodshot against her very yellow skin): Oh my gosh, what’s wrong? Are you okay?  **genuine concern here!*

I.G: Yea I’m fine, I haven’t seen your cousin though.

At this short response, I back out of the room and continue my search. Eventually I find Skinny Minnie and inform her of the earlier occurrence to which she replies nonchalantly. “Oh she’s high, they’ve all been going outside to get high. It's weird.”

Let it be known that “they” were not part of le familia, but still, I found it quite interesting that people were so bold as to get high in front of their parents friends… I really wish I could grow some balls and live recklessly! My stories pale in comparison to theirs! But at least now when i see someone with bloodshot eyes and no visible tears I wouldn't waste my genuine love and care on them. Especially not in this city where the ibo they smoke is fifty times more potent than in the U.K.! Nevertheless, I will not be trying any of the above! I hope the I.G. had a blast! YOLO and things! If not on Christmas Day then when? Haha.

Merry Belated Christmas again to you my lovely readers!

Glad tidings,

Morenike

P.S: Happy Birthday Skinny Minnie! I know you hate being called skinny but the nickname seemed so befitting! I love you lots and lots and lots! Hope you have an amazing day!

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In Love With Two

Hey hey hey!

I apologise for the current ever-changing state of the blog, trying to find a perfect new look for 2013 :) Please bear with me while I experiment with colour schemes, dynamics and so on until I think I love it again! Also like my Facebook Page! Anyways, moving swiftly on to today’s topic!

Can you be in love with two people at the same time? This is something that I’ve ALWAYS wondered about! Is it truly truly possible to be completely in love with two people simultaneously? For once this topic doesn’t even stem from my love for Rihanna and Chris Brown (who are apparently off again **boooooo**), it’s just something that always seems to pop up in conversations every now and then and I realised that I haven’t ever posted about it. I asked a couple of people about it and I got the usual answers about how there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone, which I completely agree with! But this post is not about the differences between those!

People have dedicated whole songs to trying to figure out how to live when in love with two people (Usher-What’s A Man To Do) and some people have even released silly videos on the interweb which caused one of their significant others to dump their ass! (Breezaay). There’s even my favourite series at the moment; Vampire Diaries, where Elena has been in love with both Stefan and Damon separately and together, they’ve both represented different things to her, Stefan always being the safer option while Damon is the daredevil bad boy that every girl secretly wishes they could tame. And while I’m unhappy that she’s straying from the plot in my mind and trying to please all the Delena fans, it makes me wonder why no one has ever questioned whether she ever truly loved Stefan but when it happens in real life, people always jump to the conclusion of “you obviously were never in love with the first one”.

The movie Scavengers put being in love with two people in a whole new perspective. Blake Lively’s character claims to be in love with two guys who happen to be best friends, not in a destructive way to them though, they also both love her. But anyways, the way she describes it is that one of them has a softer side, he ‘makes love’ to her, he’s more passionate, more in tune with his feelings, let’s call him Water. The other is hard, he’s not as in touch with his feelings I guess and he definitely doesn’t ‘make love’ to her, her body experiences a whole new set of feelings. Obviously he’s Fire.

Throughout the movie she doesn’t show preference to any of them, she’s equally distressed when either of them are in danger, she doesn’t sleep with one more frequently, in fact they often have coitus in threes. One might argue that she isn’t in love with either of them and that what she feels for them is just lust but for arguments sake, let’s say she is actually in love with them both. She feels no form of confusion at all, she’s not conflicted in her mind on who she should love more or spend the rest of her life with. She’s just a young girl, having a blast on an island with two hot best friends. I suppose it helps that they don’t get jealous and petty over her; she’s both of theirs equally. What I’m wondering is this; is it possible for two different people to bring out two completely different sides in you but in your mind neither side is better or wrong, you love both people and both sides and can’t imagine life with only the one. And no, you do not have split personality disorder! Is it possible to have Water and Fire coexist?

I think it is, if not how on earth did Adele set fire to the rain?! I’m not trying to say I can define what being in love with two people is but I do think it’s possible! I mean why the hell not?? Who is always creating all these plenty rules that we must abide by. Sure it’s probably confusing and leads to a lot of heartbreak and a lot of pain, but if you know you can’t handle it then don’t entertain the thoughts of having two people in your life at the same time, flee from temptation! Let your heart heal before inviting someone else to fill a gaping hole that was left by your last love. If you end up living happily ever after, that’s great, if not... Well, all’s fair in love and war.

Adios!

Unrequited Love

Today has definitely established itself as a duvet day in my books, it’s 2.30 on a Sunday afternoon and I’m still in bed, I’m starving but have neither the strength nor the will to get up and make myself something to eat. I just want to lay here all day and watch episode after episode of crappy TV show. Then I started thinking about how I have exams and really want to do well and why I even chose this masters programme and wondering what plans God has for me. I can only pray I’m on the right track. Then for some reason my mind wondered to the theme of unrequited love. Random you might think but it really isn’t so random. For instance, the love I have for chemical engineering is infinite even though it constantly makes me lose sleep, get stressed out and sometimes makes me borderline depressed! I would also love to work for an international oil company so I shall keep applying until someone says YES!

Anyways my mind quickly left the thoughts of chem eng and I started thinking of unrequited love in more of the ‘usual’ sense of the phrase. Take for example this relationship. This guy Seye has pretty much been in love with some girl Tami for the better part of his university career. He openly displays his affection for her through every possible avenue, he’s always there for her in times of need, and heck to all their friends; the two are basically together. Just one little problem. They’re not. Tami likes him, she thinks he’s kind and sweet and generous but as she’s been telling him since they met, she’s just not ready for a relationship and would rather focus on school at the moment. Also, she’s not ready to be tied down to just one person at the tender age of 20. She knows that Seye likes her and exploits it to her benefit a lot of the time. Don’t get me wrong Tami is not some evil bitch queen; it’s just human nature to satisfy your own needs first. So that’s how their relationship has been for the last few years, Tami taking what she needs and sometimes giving back in return and Seye constantly giving and loving and caring. Until one day after the long summer break, he finds out that Tami has a boyfriend! Now all that talk about wanting to focus on school and not being ready can be seen for the bullshit it really was. I just didn’t want to call her out before. Naturally Seye is heartbroken and depressed and gets nicknamed lonely boy.

I don’t know how many people can actually relate to what I’m saying. It is not easy to be in a position where the person you love doesn’t love you back. Rejection in life is always difficult but what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger. The worst thing you can do after such an experience is become a bitter old hag and wallow in self-pity for the rest of your life (Think Miss Havisham from Great Expectations). Obviously this applies to much more than just personal relationships, everyone needs to know their own worth and realise that rejections are just a part of life. We all need to find our ‘selling point’ and not get overly frustrated when things don’t go our way. Yes it may hurt so deep down inside that we feel like we are breaking from the inside out but life goes on and allowing yourself to be sucked by darkness is not only unhealthy, but also life threatening. You are the only person who controls your happiness, so get up and start living! Make yourself the best possible version of you there can ever be so that when the opportunity does come your way, and it will, you are ready for it.

Anyways I kind of went of on a tangent there, which I apparently do a lot. My point is, when life throws you lemons. Make lemonade, and not the basic kind and some sugar to it! Even make it fizzy if you can! At least that’s what I’m going to be trying to do while I start my next wave of job applications! I’m getting ready to be the best version of me I’ve ever been.

Have a great week guys,

Morenike

P.S. I really should start putting these posts up on the intended day! 

Smile More!

*sigh* last time I checked it was the beginning of a new term and I was coming of age! I never understand how time flies so quickly once school starts. This last week has been particularly stressful but now that all that is over and in the hands of the Most High life can go on! Three weeks ago (seriously someone tell me, where does the time go??) I got a comment on my blog that made me want to write again I remember seeing it in passing but I read it properly a few days ago and promised myself that after my final deadline today I’d write a blog post but then the universe seemed to have alternate plans for me. You see, I’m exhausted! Three deadlines in one week is no joke! I’ve spent so much time staring at computer screens and typing that the thought of doing the same thing in the name of blogging seemed revolting! But still I persevered, I must write a blog post today!

So I thought to myself, I’d write a post on the train to Edinburgh before I see my beloved Kokiroks. Now I’m not trying to be boujis or anything but everyone who has ever been on a Virgin Train knows that no other train line can EVER match up! So here I am, already disappointed that Virgin Trains don’t go to Edinburgh, I decided to get to the station early so I can get a nice table seat with a view; I don’t know what I was thinking about with the view the nights have been getting longer and longer this part of the world. So the train arrives on the platform and whaddyaknow, it’s PACKED! Like a tin of sardines type of packed, think London Underground during rush hour, I can feel people breathing my oxygen and I just want to steal it back and tell the oxygen thieves to get their own! Have I mentioned that I’m starving? But guess what this train also doesn’t have? A food carriage! So boujis me is now super pissed!

Standing with my weekend bag, Rihanna’s new album blaring in my ears (Album review soon? Perhaps). The ticket inspector then proceeds to enter my carriage and request for all our tickets, remember how packed the train is? Ridiculous! What’s the point of having both the ticket barrier and then an inspector? KMT. As he approaches me I pause my music and off-handedly pass him the ticket to which he responds “Smile girl, you’re a star!” For some reason his words really did put me in a much better mood and whether that was his intention or not, it worked! It made me think of everything I had to be grateful for and the amazing relaxing weekend I was about to enjoy with one of my bestos. After about an hour the train has freed up and I’ve got a seat, table even! So here I am, blogging away, just like I planned!

I guess what I’m trying to say is we should all be thankful in any situation, it could almost always be worse. So thank you Kiki, Kokiroks and the Ticket Inspector for brightening up my day!

Give More, Love More, Smile More J (What wold you say if I told you the former two were common Zimbabwean names? Google it! LOL).

Love,

Morenike

P.S. Procrastination should be the 8th deadly sin.. I wrote this post over a week ago! Anyways, here are some pictures from Edinburgh, as usual I forgot my actual camera so had to make do with my iPhone 4 shitty camera! :)

Edinburgh Castle, it looks so much better in real life!

They have so many steps they even give them names.. It was quite the work out I must say!

Almost every building has this archaic/daunting/horror movie feel to it! Quite different from the bright lights of Manchester!

Definitely a scene from Harry Potter!!