Last week while I was in Atlanta was possibly the most
eventful week of my summer so far! Met some fabulous new people that definitely
gave me the almost full South experience! I was preyed on by thirsty guys in
the club, which by the way, I was not allowed to take my comb into. (more on
this later). I got schooled in the art of twerking and “beefing it up” which in
turn gave me a new found appreciation for ratchet music! I was involved in a
full street fight a la Erica, Lil Scrappy, Stevie J and Joseline from Love and
Hip Hop: Atlanta and I got to go shopping and taste the infamous Georgia sweet
tea! Sadly I never made it to World of Coke or the Lennox mall, but not to
worry, next time!
My favourite part of the whole stay definitely had to be the
street -fight night out.
As sure girls we arrived at 1.45 a.m. At the door as usual
they ask for I.D. and payment and also search your bags. This bag search
definitely threw me off; surely I don’t look harmful in any way! But still the
search was mandatory, the lady bouncer; a short stocky woman of about
30-something, then proceeds to tell me that I can’t take my comb into the club
because it had too many pointy edges.
I suppose I can see how this can be used as a weapon, but
more importantly it begs the question, what kind of people go to this club? I
can’t lie I was scared when I was entering the club, by now I had a picture in
my head of a jail cell with ratchet girls and their jacked up weaves and boys
who wore their pants way too low to be socially acceptable.
Before I tell you about what I actually saw in the club I
have to deliver the warning lecture I received from a concerned member of the
party. The lesson only had 1 rule, DO NOT COLLECT ROSE OR MOSCATO FROM ANYBODY.
No not because they might have spiked it as you may think but because by
opening the bottle without reading the small print you’re signing your night
over to one “sweet” guy. Here’s the typical scenario:
Girl arrives at the club looking cute with all her
girlfriends. Guy approaches them looking all swarve and offers them the bottle
of Rose or Moscato just to be nice and help them let loose for the night. Let
us recall, he’s not a thirsty n*gga, infact he’s even sort of cute! So he
delivers the bottle or better yet gets a bartender to deliver it and leaves the
girls to drink it in peace. Just that he hasn’t really left them in peace.
Standing out of view but so he can watch them he watches the girls pop open the
bottle and begin drinking. Unfortunately she didn’t read the small print. You
see, if she had held the bottle in the light so she could read the inside of
the label, she would have seen the words “The opening of this bottle signs you
over to the buyer for the rest of the time at the club and up till 11 a.m.”
Guy: **evil laugh** the contract has been irrevocably
signed.
So the girls are all laughing and dancing and having a swell
time and if he’s a baller like that he might even send over a couple more
bottles. Assuming the club closes at 4, at 3.30 sharp the boy goes back to the
‘Georgia Peach’ of his eye. For those who don’t know, the state of Georgia is
very proud of its peaches so to be the Georgia Peach, you must be the crème de
la crème! So anyways, the boy goes back to the peach of his eye and starts
tugging on her arm.
Girl: Oh hey! Thanks for all the bottles, it’s been a great
night.
Guy: Yea, so you finna chill at my crib?
Girl: **nervous
laugh** No, I’m going to my girls house tonight.
Guy: **still pulling
on her arm** Come on let’s go, you drank my Rose/Moscato, 3 bottles at that.
You’re coming with me.
At this point, the
girls friends either have to form Voltron and get him away the way girls
usually do or if the girl is somehow on her own she has to honour the contract
she signed!
I must say, the club
looked nothing like a jail cell and though there were the usual array of
ratchet girls and thirsty boys, fortunately I was never offered a bottle of
Moscato/Rose in my time at Cream Ultra Lounge and neither did I need to use my
comb as a weapon!
Bisous.
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