Staying Single: Part 1- I Will Be Single! Will I?

Staying Single

The experiment begins, basically for those of you who missed the announcement in the last post. I’ve decided to include a series in my blog called Staying Single. It is scheduled to come out every Sunday and Wednesday for a little while and is about a girl, Kemi and her adventures in London as she tries to stay single. This first one is kind of long because it’s the intro, but enjoy!

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After breaking up with her boyfriend of 2 years, Kemi decided enough is enough. No more guys for her, no more celebrating anniversaries with idiots who always forgot the date or buying birthday presents for undeserving douche bags or having candle lit dinners with lying morons. She was done! No more dating until she was 24 years old, at which point God would deliver her ready-made husband whom she would date for another 2 to 3 years before getting married and she would then have beautiful babies and live in eternal bliss till she died!

Yup, she had it all figured out. All she had to do was avoid boys for the next 4 years and life would sort itself out. But realistically, she knew she couldn’t avoid boys forever, what about Sola?? Sweet and charming Sola, he had been there for her all through the tumultuous break up with The Ex, consoling her whenever she felt down, holding her as she cried herself to sleep in her 1 bedroom apartment in London’s West End. Sola had become her best friend, or so she thought anyways, until one fine summer’s day 2 months after the break up with The Ex, he decided to ruin everything. By BBM, how very tasteful.

Sola: Hey babe, did you have fun last night? What’re you up to today?

Kemi: Nothing much hon, just having a lazy Sunday. Yeaa it was alright, did you?

Sola: Yea it was good, I’m happy you went out even though The Ex was there and that dress on you **wink**

LOL! If only he knew I had spent the whole night going between my spot on the dance floor and his table just so he would notice me in my booty shorts and immediately realise the error of his ways. Sadly that never happened.

Kemi: Haha, you’re not serious. Come over for brunch?

Sola: Yea sure, but there’s something I have to say first and then if you still want to see me then I’d be right over

Kemi: Ummmmm, okay! You’re scaring me

Sola: I think that I want you to be my girlfriend, I know you may say it’s too soon and you’re still getting over your last break up but I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you. I don’t mind if you tell me to wait, I’d wait for a while. I just want to know, do you or can you ever feel the same way about me?

Options, Delete Contact. Are you sure you want to delete contact? No. SH*T. What is the meaning of all this iranu l’aro kutu kutu?! (What is the meaning of this nonsense so early in the morning?!)

That was how Sola single-handedly tried to destroy the friendship she thought they shared and tried to turn it into something else. Okay, time to come up with a plan, and quick! The stupid D on the tick had turned to an R. Oh how she hated this darn phone!

Kemi: So sorry boo, my mum just called on Skype, I’d hit you up as soon as I’m done.

Now that should do the trick and buy her at least 20 minutes. Hurriedly she dials Remy’s number. They had been friends for over 10 years now and Remy would know how to handle this situation, she always had a head for dealing with boys who seemed to be constantly falling in love with her.

Remy: Babe, it’s 10.30 a.m.! You better be stuck under a rock in Abu Dhabi to be calling me at this ungodly hour

Ahh Remy, always the drama queen. People always wondered how the two got on so well and for the most part, it remained a mystery.

Kemi: Sola asked me to marry him. That should wake her right up, silly girl

Remy: Wha-when-who-hooooooow?!?!?!

Kemi: Fine, I’m joking but I need your help! He just asked me to be his girlfriend!

Remy: Well do you want to?

Kemi: Well no, but how am I supposed to tell him?? He’s so sweet to me all the time and I really don’t want to lose him as a friend L

Remy: Uh, see you. Better start finding a way. Please I’m going back to bed, call me if you get arrested or something.

“Well she’s certainly helpful and chirpy in the mornings” Kemi thought, making a mental note to get her friend back soon.

Now she was forced to think up a legit response all on her own. You see the thing is, it’s not that she didn’t like Sola, he is actually the sweetest sweet talker known to man. One of those boys that spun metaphors for days when rapping and could then write a girl some poetry bound to make him seem like the 21^st century Keats. But she had promised herself, no boys till she was 24! Or was it 22? Who even remembers? Suddenly her phone rings, it is Remy. What does this unhelpful rascal want now??

Remy: **laughing** Omg! I just heard what you said, Sola wants you to be his babe???? **still laughing**

Kemi: No shit Sherlock. I don’t see how this is funny, if you’re not ready to be helpful then please allow me. Gosh, this Remy really had no tact sometimes.

Remy: No it’s just that, he told me last night at Juju that he was going to ask you but I thought he was just drunk and acting the fool.

Kemi: Yea okay, so what do I do now??

Remy: I don’t know oh, just let him down easy sha, he actually really likes you and he’s a good guy.

What now, was I supposed to do with this new information?? It’s bad enough that Remy already knew, but now she’s on his side?! Cursed be the ground she walks on! Time to contact Sola, too much time was passing by. She picks up her stupid blackberry and dials his number. He picks up before even half a ring. Poor guy.

Kemi: Hey, can you meet me at Café Rouge for half 12? I think we have some stuff to talk about.

Sola: Just forget I said anything, I think I’m still drunk from last night.

Kemi: I’m sure you are boo Okay that’s cool. Still, Café Rouge? Just to chill.

Sola: Yea sure.

Looking at the clock she realised she had exactly an hour and a half to get ready and be there, Who does this to themselves? She frantically hops towards the shower, but before she makes it her phone rings again. Thinking it is be Remy, calling back to redeem herself and be a good friend she hurries back to her phone.

The caller I.D. flashes: The Ex. Oh for the love of man!