For The Love of a Good Guy

As a girl I sometimes have to wonder if some life experiences leave us so scarred that we might be missing out on a potentially good thing because of past experiences. I’m pretty sure every one has been hurt, cheated on or lied to by someone they care about before but that’s not what I’m talking about, not in particular anyways. Take for instance my friend, let’s call her CDK, 21 year-old beauty, smart, good body! She never takes any guy she meets in a club seriously because of some stuff that went down a while back. I'm not saying that most of these guys are meant to be taken seriously but occasionally there might be a diamond in the rough!

So a couple of nights in a week we decide to head out to the clubs, get a little wasted and just generally have a good time. Cute guy comes up to her, let’s call him Jay, and they start talking (my role in the club is solely as wing girl to bail her out if she needs it, you should know that I’m in a committed relationship). So anyways, she and the guy get to dancing and chatting, I go and find some other friends to attach myself too while I wait for any signs from her to tell me she’s good or requires bailing out. Turns out he’s not a creep and they keep at it the whole night, at the end of it all they exchange numbers. CDK comes home all giddy because they’re meant to be meeting up sometime in the week to go to the movies/drinks/dinner.

The week comes and they’ve been chatting, he’s really spitting his A-game (yes, I have read at least 60% of all their conversation) so they day for the movies finally arrives and what do you know, home boy is sort of busy, he promises to make it up to CDK if she comes over to his later that evening, say 10 p.m. she declines and says she’d rather reschedule. Being the sweet/perfect guy that he is he agrees. Needless to say, the time for the next date comes around and he has another reason not to meet up but for her to come over (Coursework, Athletics club, his fish died etc.) Anyways, this goes on for a couple of weeks till my poor naïve girlfriend realises that this boy only has one agenda. My question to you guys right now? Why try so hard! Surely there are a good number of other girls out there just waiting to arrive at your doorstep when you call them. That illusion of ‘the chase’ that guys like so much, why does it never wear off? This boy Jay kept trying all sorts of tricks and scandalous lines just to get CDK to come over to his unaccompanied for months on end! (We girlies have to stick together when entering the lions’ den).

Boys need to realise that not all girls are the same, especially as you’re not trying to take her out once or twice to show her a good time! That’s entirely different, you can woo her with the charm I suppose. But when you’re trying to make a girl you just met your “chill at home chick” then I’m a bit lost. The same way I blame Eve every month when her curses are manifested in my life is the same way I blame the sleazy girls of my generation. I’m not saying don’t have a good time; in fact have a great time! But you could at least try and front for like I don’t know, 2 hours before serving yourself on a silver platter. Also can I just point out that there’s a MASSIVE difference between the girl that sleeps around like a dude no strings attached (All hail Sex and the City’s Samantha Jones) and those that try and sleep around but always end up getting attached (Hi Carrie!). be true to yourself, if you’re a Carrie don’t try and act like Samantha, you end up getting hurt and also make guys think that all girls have a Samantha in them, there’s nothing wrong with being a Carrie!

Guys, if you’ve been trying to get a girl to be your chill at home chick and she’s never been on it and still not on it after 3 months then please respect yourself and fall back. You just end up looking overly thirsty to the girl and let’s not forget all of her posse that she has been telling about every single stage of your ‘relationship’. Girls, as far as I am concerned there is no reason to feel pressured into going to a boy’s house when it’s dark outside! As a child of the light, stay strong and keep saying no or ignoring those phone calls because once you get to his crib, some guys have the power to talk your panties off and make you think it was all your idea!