Staying Single Part 9: The Finale I

I have slight OCD and I just couldn't bear to have the series end on an odd number so I've split this last post into two. It also makes for easier reading I'm told :)

If you haven't been reading this from the beginning then don't ruin the ending for yourself, start from the very beginning. A very good place to start!

Part1: I Will Be Single! Will I?
Part2: Poor little Sola Boy
Part3: Return of the Mac or umm, the Ex?
Part4: Pure Carnal Lust
Part5: All Hail the Queen of Awkward Moments
Part 5.5: A Suitor, A Disciple & A Sola
Part 6: Cut Your Cloth
Part 7: The Number One Suitor
Part 8: In Love With S
_________________________________________________________

The Suitor sits in shock and Kemi sees in his eyes for a fleeting second all the hurt he tries to push down.

Suitor: I don’t understand. You told me you guys barely even speak anymore.

Kemi: We don’t, I don’t know, it’s just really complicated.

Suitor **visibly angry**: So how can you possibly be in love with him when you’ve spent the last 2 months with me?

Kemi has nothing to say and she is starting to regret this plan, she should have at least waited till they were out of the club, at his place or hers. Now this is going to turn into another of her world famous scenes.

Suitor: Oh so now you can’t speak? Kemi I need an explanation.

Kemi **lowering her head**: I don’t know what to say; I don’t know how this happened. I didn’t think you were taking us that seriously.

Suitor: So you think that me seeing you every other day, taking you out and spending money on you is just me being casual? **raising his voice** there’s nothing casual about that Kemi and you know it!

Kemi: Please stop shouting, can we just go. Lets go somewhere quiet and talk about this.

Suitor: Kemi please, don’t piss me off. There’s nothing to talk about, you’re just a stupid slag who uses people. I can’t believe I fell for you. You're a f*cking b*tch.

As he said those words, the music quietened down, one of those dips between one song and the next where you find that the voice you were speaking in was way too loud. The Suitor’s words had caught everyone’s attention and he got up and stormed out of the bar leaving Kemi sitting alone awkwardly. Glancing around and not seeing any friendly faces she got up and went hurriedly to the ladies. Seeing as I’ve already ruined things with The Suitor I might as well call Sola and tell him everything

The phone rung five times before Sola eventually picked up and with every ring Kemi was regretting her decision to call him, what exactly was she going to say? She hadn’t even given it a second thought before deciding to act so irrationally.

Sola: How far?

Kemi: **rambling on** Hey Sola, I know that you might think this is random and wonder why I’m deciding to just do it now, but I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I don’t know if there would ever be a right time to say it and everything is just so confusing in my head right now and I don’t know if I’m even doing the right thing because I know Nkechi is my friend and I’m being a terrible friend by doing this but I don’t think I can stand for you to not know any longer and..

Sola: Wait, slow down. What are you trying to say? I can’t even hear you properly.

Kemi: I’m trying to say that I love you, that I’m in love with you and I’m sorry it took me so long to realise.

There was a long silence on the phone after Kemi’s confession and for the first time she thought of the off chance that Sola really had moved on and didn’t care about her deeply anymore.

Wow, what have I done now? I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. Why do I always mess everything up with boys that genuinely care about me and treat me right? And then I end up acting a fool for the likes of the Ex. Kemi you need to get your act together.

Sola: Babe, let me call you back. Nkechi is waiting.

And with that he hung up. Kemi was left staring at her phone as it beeped the end of the conversation. She wasn’t sure if what had just transpired was real or if she was hallucinating. It was one of those out of body experiences for sure. The woman in the ladies was staring at Kemi who was staring at her reflection in the mirror.

Woman: You araiy gyal?

Kemi shook her head and the tears started flowing as she thought of the possibility of losing both Sola and the Suitor. Something that had never occurred to her before. She felt all the shame, regret and confusion rise from deep inside her belly, climbing gradually till it reached her throat and then she leaned over the sink and retched multiple times.

Staying Single: Part 8- In Love with S

Part1: I Will Be Single! Will I?

Part2: Poor little Sola Boy

Part3: Return of the Mac or umm, the Ex?

Part4: Pure Carnal Lust

Part5: All Hail the Queen of Awkward Moments

Part 5.5: A Suitor, A Disciple & A Sola

Part 6: Cut Your Cloth

Part 7: The Number One Suitor

After the party is over and everyone has gone home, The Girls were all in Stephanie’s room talking about the gist from the night. Of all the not-so-shocking revelations such as Remy spending the whole time glued to Jide, the most shocking was the following:

Remy: So guys, everyone has casted themselves except Nkechi, are we really going to let this slide?

Steph: That’s true oh, where were you? You were ghost through almost the whole thing.

Nkechi: Hmm, you guys need to stop asking too many questions, I told you I was busy.

Remy: Busy doing what? Girl, it’s either you tell or you sleep in the corridor tonight! **laughing**

Kemi: I agree oh, spill the beans

Nkechi: Well if you must know I was just getting to know a certain Sholly-boy better.

Steph: Hahaha, you were with Sola?!

Kemi: Wait, which Sola? Sola Akinlaja??

Nkechi: Ahh, yes now. Which other Sola! And I must say, he knows how to get down if you know what I mean **laughs**

Remy: You you’re just a hooker, I’m tired please I’m going to sleep.

Kemi: Hmmm, Sola.

Steph: Ah babe what’s your issue?

Kemi: Oh nothing, it’s just funny that’s all.

Nkechi: I mean to be honest I don’t like the guy; he’s a bit young for me. He’s cute though! I know you guys are bestos but you’re cool right?

Steph: Of course she’s cool! After the story she was just telling us about the Suitor!

Kemi: Yea exactly, I don’t like him or anything.

Remy: **coughs suspiciously** Goodnight guys.

After the lights went off and everyone was trying sleeping, Kemi lay awake thinking about Nkechi and Sola’s rendezvous, was it possible that Sola liked Nkechi? Because she knew Nkechi definitely didn’t like Sola, and if he did then why her? And how far had they gone? And again why Nkechi? Lost in her thoughts Kemi admitted to herself that the fact that the girl was Nkechi wasn’t what bothered her, it was the fact that Sola was getting with people in the first place.

Why shouldn’t he be allowed to get with other people? So what he was saying to me all that time about liking me was just bull? Sola can’t be with anyone else, that’s not fair. The jealousy in her gut was unshakeable, even as she tried to daydream of her episode with the Suitor; she kept replacing his face with Sola’s. Do I actually like this boy or am I just upset he doesn’t like me anymore? After many hours of deliberation through the night, Kemi decides that she in fact does like Sola but now that he’s trying to get close to Nkechi what is she supposed to do?

But what about the Suitor? Well he’s leaving soon so it doesn’t really matter! Once he’s gone, she can work on Sola again, she can’t directly make him fall for her; she has to do it carefully, and with this resolved in her mind, she falls asleep.

15 days later

The weeks that had passed involved Kemi seeing the Suitor as many times as she liked, they had gotten physical a few times but nothing beyond the first time. She also met up with Sola at their usual spot in Café Rouge and he confessed to having “slight feelings but nothing serious” for Nkechi. Kemi had also told Remy about her feelings for Sola.

Remy: You don’t like him, you’re just plain jealous that he’s moving on. Don’t go and do anything irrational! Nkechi is your friend!

Kemi: But she doesn’t even like him, she said so herself!

Remy: I just think you’re being selfish. This is exactly what the Ex does to you whenever you start liking someone else and it’s not nice.

Kemi: Okay fine, whatever.

But Kemi wasn’t convinced, she was sure she liked Sola, no one understood her that’s all, she would prove to everyone that they are meant to be together. The perfect opportunity finally presented itself in the form of a Tuesday night at Juju Bar, none of the Girls were there, Steph and Nkechi who had another friend’s birthday party and Remy was being a boring housewife with Jide. The music was good and the drinks were flowing. Kemi didn’t mind though, there would be quite a few friends there. Seeing Sola seated by himself in the corner, Kemi positioned herself to make sure he gets a good view and begins to gyrate in a most seductive way to the voice of some dancehall artist, she can feel Sola’s eyes on her back as she moves. The Suitor, seeing his girl dancing by herself makes his way across the dance floor and grabs her waist. Kemi slows the dancing pace and eventually stops.

Suitor: Oh, why you doing this to me?

Kemi: **looking bored** my feet hurt, these shoes are kind of tight.

Suitor: Her feet are killing her I call it her shoe-icide. Let’s go and sit for a bit.

Kemi: **glancing over at Sola she realises she has lost his interest completely,** Why did this Suitor boy have to show up at the wrongest time! Now Sola is never going to take me seriously. slightly annoyed she turns to the Suitor, she needs to get Sola’s attention again, but not right now**

PAUSE

Now I must interrupt this story here, to let you, the readers, know that Kemi is not a bad person, neither is she a slag, well not really. She does actually like the Suitor but remember he was always a short-term solution. She’s just a vain, naïve girl who wants attention and to be loved.

CONTINUE

Suitor: So I’ve been thinking of something, I want you to be my girlfriend

Kemi: Wait what? How did we get here?? But you’re all the way in America, it would never work

Suitor: I know myself; I don’t need anyone else right now. Just say you’d try at least.

Kemi: **in a small voice** I can’t.

Suitor: Why not? I thought we had something good going?

Kemi: I really like you, don’t get me wrong. But I’m in love with Sola.

Staying Single: Part 7- The Number One Suitor

Part1: I Will Be Single! Will I?

Part2: Poor little Sola Boy

Part3: Return of the Mac or umm, the Ex?

Part4: Pure Carnal Lust

Part5: All Hail the Queen of Awkward Moments

Part 5.5: A Suitor, A Disciple & A Sola
Part 6: Cut Your Cloth

Unfortunately it is so. Thank goodness Remy had realised the error also and as she was such a quick thinker, pulled me up spun her around quickly so that her exposed panties were not on show to the whole world. Sadly it was a little too late, a couple of people had already spotted the misdemeanour and were in fits of laughter. Kemi mumbled a few incoherent words to The Suitor and allows Remy to usher her past the people looking to see what was so funny. Once again, my gist will be everywhere! WHY ALWAYS ME?

They get upstairs and Kemi is too upset to do anything but hold back tears of frustration and change into leggings and a tank top. Stephanie who had seen the whole thing followed them to her room

Steph: Babe it really wasn’t that bad, nobody saw everything I swear

Remy: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell her! Babe don’t cry and spoil your make up.

Kemi: **exasperated** it’s easy for you to say; the whole world didn’t just see your bride price! And did you see the smug look on the Ex’s face? I could have slapped him! I’m so ashamed right now; I definitely can’t go back down there! Steph do you mind if I just stay in your room for a while?

Steph: Suit yourself, but it really wasn’t that bad. Trust me, I’ve seen far worse! Imagine if you were actually fat now!

Remy: You can’t stay up here for the rest of the night oh! Don’t even think about it girl!

Out of the blue, there’s a knock on the door, thinking it’s Nkechi coming to join the gang Steph opens the door and lo and behold none other than the Suitor.

Suitor: Do you mind if I come in?

Steph, Remy: Glance hastily at Kemi and back again to the Suitor.

Kemi: No not really, it’s over anyways.

Steph and Remy quietly leave the room without another word, leaving just Kemi and the Suitor in this slight awkwardness that highlights the room.

Suitor: I’m really sorry about your skirt baby, but you still look beautiful in the tights though

Kemi: They are leggings!

Suitor: Oh. My bad.

**more awkwardness**

Suitor: So you ready to come back downstairs? I wanted to introduce you to my friend.

Kemi: What kind of fool is this? Introduce ke?? After the debacle that just ensued? God forbid! Id rather not go down right now, I’m still pretty embarrassed to be honest.

Suitor: **approaching her** Oh come here baby.

He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close to him, he smells of intoxicating cologne and manliness and Kemi can’t muster the willpower to make him stop. Plus she doesn’t want to, she wraps her arms around his shoulders and slowly he lifts her chin and locks his eyes unto hers, staring into his dark brown eyes Kemi feels all the embarrassment and shame of the last few minutes melting away. Slowly and passionately they kiss, their bodies moving together in perfect harmony like waves in the ocean crashing at the shore and retreating to the water just to come crashing again. Kemi releases her grip from his neck and lifts her hands up.

Gosh Kemi, in Steph’s room?? But he’s such a good kisser though!

The Suitor as if understanding exactly what she wants takes off her tank top and removes his shirt, revealing abs that can cut through diamond. They kiss quicker, like they just realised the world was coming to an end and the only way to stop it is to exchange saliva as quickly as possible. The Suitor kisses down her neck and on to her collarbone.

My life needs a soundtrack. Now humming inwardly Keyshia Cole- Heaven Sent

**Ahem** someone clears their throat, none of them had even been aware of the door being opened. The Prince is standing in the doorframe looking at them with this looks that says, “I nabbed you” on his face.

The Prince: I figured if you were going to play me with anyone it would be Sola, who’s this n*gga?

Luckily The Prince wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation, he had come to the room looking for Stephanie because the party was running low on drinks.

Kemi: We should go back downstairs too, see if there’s anything I can do to help

Suitor: Who is Sola? That dude from Amaranto?

Kemi: **kissing him** Yea that one. Hmm, so being weak in the knees isn’t a myth huh? Who knew.

Suitor: **pulling away** were you guys together or something?

Kemi: Why do my moments always get ruined by some uncanny act or another? No, we’re just quite close that’s all.

Taking his hand she forces him out of the room to avoid further conversation and they head back to their friends.

Staying Single: Part 5.5- A Suitor, A Disciple and A Sola

Incase you've been missing out on the epic tales of Kemi's life, catch up with the links below!

Part1: I Will Be Single! Will I?

Part2: Poor little Sola Boy

Part3: Return of the Mac or umm, the Ex?

Part4: Pure Carnal Lust

Part5: All Hail the Queen of Awkward Moments

____________________________________________

Once again I apologise profusely for the error in the order of these posts, I'd be more careful next time! As I explained before, this should go between Parts 5 and 6 and then the story would continue as normal from part 7 on Wednesday.

As she reaches the ladies, Kemi realises that her heart rate is elevated, pupils dilated and palms are sweaty. Yes ladies and gentlemen, she is in love! Quickly she whips out her blackberry and types a message to “The Girls” in their group chat.

Kemi: Guysssss, such a situation! At Amaranto with the Disciple but guess who I just saw??

Steph: Vic O??

Remy: Jide??

Nkechi: Who??

Kemi: No, this is serious guys, THE SUITOR IS HERE! And I just blew it! (Goes into detailed explanation of what just went down, with vast exaggeration of course.)

Steph: L.O.L Babe, I can just imagine you trying to shake his hand, YOU WAVED?! The worst!

Nkechi: Aww, don’t worry, just go back over and talk to him again. I’m sure he didn’t notice because you look hot!! Yes I had sent the group pictures of all my outfit options earlier that evening, who doesn’t do that??

Bless Nkechi, she had the confidence that all girls desired and could strike up conversation with any guy at a bar, no problem. Even the ones twice her age.

Remy: You dulled! Don’t let me even talk too much, if you don’t redeem yourself you will be exiled from the group! Only sure babes allowed.

Sigh, what a conundrum.

Kemi had decided, she would go back to the table and talk to him just like Nkechi suggested, how hard could it possible be? If he is to be the father of her first born son, and he is, then it must be so. Head up, chest out, walk tall and seductively you goddess you! And walk she does, and she keeps walking, right past the table that The Suitor is on until she reaches her table where The Disciple has been patiently waiting. Yea, the time was just not right, maybe in thirty minutes.

The Disciple: You girls and your bathroom breaks sha, what took you so long?

Kemi: Ahh, are you timing me now or something?

Suddenly a waiter comes up to her table holding a Daiquiri

Waiter: From the gentleman in blue at the bar, he asks that you grant him just 5 miutes of your time.

Yes Lord, my wedding bells are finally ringing! **in tune** It shall be permanent! It shall be permanent! Oooh it shall be permanent! It shall be permanent!

Looking back to the other table, she realised that all the other boys were gone.

Kemi: To The Disciple: Do you mind? Let me just see what he wants, id be back in 2 minutes.

The Disciple: Sure, but don’t waste too much time oh. They’re even closing soon.

15 minutes later.

Kemi had become so engrossed in her conversation with The Suitor that she completely forgot The Disciple sitting at the other table waiting for her to return in ‘two’ minutes. He’s Nigerian now; he should know that two minutes never equals 120 seconds. As they laughed and flirted shamelessly the bartender asked them for their last orders as the bar would be closing soon. That was when it happened. The Disciple, obviously riled by the competition and clearly drunk, noisily made his way to the bar.

Disciple: Get your hands off my girlfriend mate!

Nitori Olorun, bobo yi fe koba mi sha! (This boy wants to put me in trouble oh!) Girl-what?!

The Suitor looks at his hand placed so carefully on Kemi’s lower back and back up at The Disciple

Suitor: She’s your girlfriend? She never said she had a man.

Kemi: That’s because he’s not. I don’t. I don’t, I don’t! Why, for the love of all things good, is this boy trying to ruin my future!

And before she could say anything more there was a loud thud. The Disciple punched The Suitor right in the jaw! War breaks out between them, well more like a scuffle but this is a disaster! Some people are trying to separate the guys but someone else is pulling at her arm, what do they want?? Can’t they see I’m praying to Jehovah that this is all a dream?

“Babe, are you okay?” Kemi looks up and notices none other than Sola, what the heck?? When did he arrive here now?!

Staying Single: Part 2- Poor Little Sola Boy

Staying Single

Incase you missed it, Part 1: I Will Be Single! Will I?

__________________________________________________________

What the heck does he want now?? She keeps staring at her phone until it eventually stops ringing, and even then she keep staring at it like she’s waiting for something to jump out of it. Today is just going to be one of those days isn’t it? She can feel it. After weeks of not talking to The Ex and trying not to Facebook stalk him more than 5 times a week, now he calls her out of the blue?? To say what exactly? It was probably a pocket dial anyways. Her phone beeps. Voicemail has 1 new message. Okay now she actually NEEDS Remy. Looking for the perfect outfit to say, I-like-you-but-I-don’t-want-to-be-your-girlfriend, is much harder than one would imagine! If the skirt is too short, it’s unfair to the boy. If the shorts are too tight, it’s unfair to the world. If she decides to be all “Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin with no make up on”, it’s unfair to Drake! Finally she opts for a casual t-shirt and jeans and hops into the shower.

It’s 1:30 p.m. before she arrives at Café Rouge; luckily Sola hadn’t been on time either so he’s only been waiting for 20 minutes. Imagine if I got there early, Silly boy. On seeing him she needs to remind herself why exactly she is about to decline this proposal. Sitting at the table, listening to music through his headphones Sola has never looked more divine. The sun reflects perfectly off his dark flawless skin and he has this cool look on his face, clearly he’s far far away. On seeing her he snaps back into reality from whatever daydream previously occupied his mind and delivers his most charming smile, capable of melting hearts. “Sola is just my friend, I do not need a man in my life to make me feel fulfilled. Repeat. Sola is just my friend, I do not need a man in my life to make me feel fulfilled. Repea-“

Kemi: Hey, sorry I’m late. My wardrobe went crazy on me.

Sola: No worries babe, you look stunning as usual. I already ordered you your usual.

**sigh** what an awesome almost-boyfriend he makes.

Kemi: So Remy told me about some of the stuff you said to her last night, is it..

Sola: **cutting her off** Yea, I wasn’t really myself, I don’t know why I did that.

Kemi: Oh so you don’t like me then? It’s funny how girls get slightly offended when the person that they thought liked them, that they don’t like, says he doesn’t like them. Complicated creatures we are I tell you!

Sola: **silence**

Kemi: Come on, you can tell me anything, you know that.. Sola?

Sola: You led me on and made me fall for you; now what am I supposed to do? I can’t just let you go.

Kemi: You are making this so awkward, I never led you on and I’m really sorry if you feel I did!

Sola: So all those nights you were crying on my shoulder and falling asleep in my arms meant nothing?

Kemi: This boy’s view on love is rather warped oh. I was heartbroken over the Ex, you know that!

Sola: Whatever, you’re just a b*tch who uses people because she feels like it.

Kemi: Wow. **gets up to leave**

Sola: Babe, I’m sorry, please don’t leave like that. I’m a bit out of sorts this morning.

Kemi: Just take your stupid flawless hand off me! I’m just not ready for a new relationship; do you think we can be friends?

Sola: I guess so. Although you make it hard for me when you keep wearing these skin-tight jeans. Pun intended.

Why cant everything in life just always be this simple? They fought, made-up and were haveing lunch together happily gisting about all the latest happenings in under 30 minutes. Sola flirts tirelessly and it’s obvious that he does infact have deep feelings for her. She keeps catching him staring at her in the most unusual way but she knows she’s made the right choice. Kemi really wants to tell him about the voicemail from The Ex that she still hasn’t listened to yet but it feels like the wrong time, so she resolves herself to marching over to Remy’s house so they can listen to it together.

**Three hours later**

Remy: Okay then play the voicemail now let’s see what the stupid boy has to say now after 1 month.

Kemi: Actually it’s been 2.

Remy: Okay just play it anyways.

She reaches for her phone and dials for voicemail

“Hey Kemi, ummm, sorry I didn’t know who else to call, I need your help and it’s kind of urgent. Call me back when you get this, um, yeah, bye.”

What? He needs my help?? What kind of help? Maybe he’s ready to apologise and beg for me back, we can live in a castle in the sky and have nightcaps every night! Hmmmm should I accept or not?

Her thoughts were broken into by Remy, ever the realist.

Remy: What does this boy want from you now?? He better stop with all his cryptic rubbish. You’re not going to help him are you? Kemi! Stop daydreaming about having his babies!

Kemi: How does she know me so well? Huh? Oh yeah.. Well let me see what he has to say first now, you never know. Our babies would be tall and have his perfect eyebrows and eyelashes. Oh the joy!

Remy: Dey dere! Ive warned you now oh. You need to keep trying to get over this boy. He’s no good for you. Infact, call him back while I’m here. I don’t trust you; you might start begging him to take you back now. Shioor.

Kemi: Okay madam smart-ass, I’d call him back now. Just be quiet, I don’t want him to get spooked because you’re around.

Remy: **rolls eyes**

Kemi: Okay shhh, it’s ringing. Let me put it on speaker. Be still oh beating heart of mine.

The Ex: Hello?

Staying Single: Part 1- I Will Be Single! Will I?

Staying Single

The experiment begins, basically for those of you who missed the announcement in the last post. I’ve decided to include a series in my blog called Staying Single. It is scheduled to come out every Sunday and Wednesday for a little while and is about a girl, Kemi and her adventures in London as she tries to stay single. This first one is kind of long because it’s the intro, but enjoy!

_________________________________________________________

After breaking up with her boyfriend of 2 years, Kemi decided enough is enough. No more guys for her, no more celebrating anniversaries with idiots who always forgot the date or buying birthday presents for undeserving douche bags or having candle lit dinners with lying morons. She was done! No more dating until she was 24 years old, at which point God would deliver her ready-made husband whom she would date for another 2 to 3 years before getting married and she would then have beautiful babies and live in eternal bliss till she died!

Yup, she had it all figured out. All she had to do was avoid boys for the next 4 years and life would sort itself out. But realistically, she knew she couldn’t avoid boys forever, what about Sola?? Sweet and charming Sola, he had been there for her all through the tumultuous break up with The Ex, consoling her whenever she felt down, holding her as she cried herself to sleep in her 1 bedroom apartment in London’s West End. Sola had become her best friend, or so she thought anyways, until one fine summer’s day 2 months after the break up with The Ex, he decided to ruin everything. By BBM, how very tasteful.

Sola: Hey babe, did you have fun last night? What’re you up to today?

Kemi: Nothing much hon, just having a lazy Sunday. Yeaa it was alright, did you?

Sola: Yea it was good, I’m happy you went out even though The Ex was there and that dress on you **wink**

LOL! If only he knew I had spent the whole night going between my spot on the dance floor and his table just so he would notice me in my booty shorts and immediately realise the error of his ways. Sadly that never happened.

Kemi: Haha, you’re not serious. Come over for brunch?

Sola: Yea sure, but there’s something I have to say first and then if you still want to see me then I’d be right over

Kemi: Ummmmm, okay! You’re scaring me

Sola: I think that I want you to be my girlfriend, I know you may say it’s too soon and you’re still getting over your last break up but I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you. I don’t mind if you tell me to wait, I’d wait for a while. I just want to know, do you or can you ever feel the same way about me?

Options, Delete Contact. Are you sure you want to delete contact? No. SH*T. What is the meaning of all this iranu l’aro kutu kutu?! (What is the meaning of this nonsense so early in the morning?!)

That was how Sola single-handedly tried to destroy the friendship she thought they shared and tried to turn it into something else. Okay, time to come up with a plan, and quick! The stupid D on the tick had turned to an R. Oh how she hated this darn phone!

Kemi: So sorry boo, my mum just called on Skype, I’d hit you up as soon as I’m done.

Now that should do the trick and buy her at least 20 minutes. Hurriedly she dials Remy’s number. They had been friends for over 10 years now and Remy would know how to handle this situation, she always had a head for dealing with boys who seemed to be constantly falling in love with her.

Remy: Babe, it’s 10.30 a.m.! You better be stuck under a rock in Abu Dhabi to be calling me at this ungodly hour

Ahh Remy, always the drama queen. People always wondered how the two got on so well and for the most part, it remained a mystery.

Kemi: Sola asked me to marry him. That should wake her right up, silly girl

Remy: Wha-when-who-hooooooow?!?!?!

Kemi: Fine, I’m joking but I need your help! He just asked me to be his girlfriend!

Remy: Well do you want to?

Kemi: Well no, but how am I supposed to tell him?? He’s so sweet to me all the time and I really don’t want to lose him as a friend L

Remy: Uh, see you. Better start finding a way. Please I’m going back to bed, call me if you get arrested or something.

“Well she’s certainly helpful and chirpy in the mornings” Kemi thought, making a mental note to get her friend back soon.

Now she was forced to think up a legit response all on her own. You see the thing is, it’s not that she didn’t like Sola, he is actually the sweetest sweet talker known to man. One of those boys that spun metaphors for days when rapping and could then write a girl some poetry bound to make him seem like the 21^st century Keats. But she had promised herself, no boys till she was 24! Or was it 22? Who even remembers? Suddenly her phone rings, it is Remy. What does this unhelpful rascal want now??

Remy: **laughing** Omg! I just heard what you said, Sola wants you to be his babe???? **still laughing**

Kemi: No shit Sherlock. I don’t see how this is funny, if you’re not ready to be helpful then please allow me. Gosh, this Remy really had no tact sometimes.

Remy: No it’s just that, he told me last night at Juju that he was going to ask you but I thought he was just drunk and acting the fool.

Kemi: Yea okay, so what do I do now??

Remy: I don’t know oh, just let him down easy sha, he actually really likes you and he’s a good guy.

What now, was I supposed to do with this new information?? It’s bad enough that Remy already knew, but now she’s on his side?! Cursed be the ground she walks on! Time to contact Sola, too much time was passing by. She picks up her stupid blackberry and dials his number. He picks up before even half a ring. Poor guy.

Kemi: Hey, can you meet me at Café Rouge for half 12? I think we have some stuff to talk about.

Sola: Just forget I said anything, I think I’m still drunk from last night.

Kemi: I’m sure you are boo Okay that’s cool. Still, Café Rouge? Just to chill.

Sola: Yea sure.

Looking at the clock she realised she had exactly an hour and a half to get ready and be there, Who does this to themselves? She frantically hops towards the shower, but before she makes it her phone rings again. Thinking it is be Remy, calling back to redeem herself and be a good friend she hurries back to her phone.

The caller I.D. flashes: The Ex. Oh for the love of man!